Funny how much things can change in a small period of time. I meant to come back before now and write some more but I was never in the mood. I hate when that happens. I wanted to write about my Ex actually, which probably explains putting it off.
I first met my Ex when I was 16. His partner at the time [wow, I am really not painting a good picture of myself here!] worked in the same place as I did, and he used to walk her to work, then come back to walk her home at finishing time. I thought he was actractive, for an older guy, but never paid too much attention to him. He never smiled and always seemed to be in a bad mood. I left there before she did, and we lost touch pretty quickly. She was a nice enough person I suppose, just incredibly loud and not really the type of person I would normally mix with.
Fast forward 2 years and a failed relationship. I had just returned home after having run off for 3 weeks. That sounds a bit more dramatic than it actually is. I'll come back to that another time. So I had just returned to the country to find amazingly good weather so decided to go to the beach with a couple of my friends. We stopped at a shop so we could pick up some water, smokes and sweets and the likes. I turned around and walked straight into his wife. We hadn't seen each other in a long time so the usual conversation/small talk took place. They were going on holiday soon. Emails addresses were swapped and empty promises of keeping in touch and having a proper catch up soon were made. I emailed a while after they were due back from holiday only to find they had split up and he was staying with his brother. It was his email address which is why he replied. We talked back and forth, mostly about how much he missed his wife and kids. After weeks and weeks he suggested we meet up for a coffee, and we did. More weeks and weeks and we started dating.
I ended things for good last September, although we had split up and gotten back together once previously which was stupid. People do stupid things. It was never going to last. He was mentally and emotionally abusive and, although he had never lifted his hands to me as such, he has hurt me on more than one occassion. He lied and cheated and took money from me. Stupid of me to let it go on so long, wasn't it. So... although I can't excuse the whole being the other woman thing NOW, it can be explained. I know it's wrong, but after my Ex it was so good to feel wanted and to be treated properly for a change. That sounds a bit pathetic actually.
However... I have made a decision to end things with him. He's great company and he makes me laugh so much, but we need to stop crossing that line and just be friends. He's given me faith that there are good people out there, which is what I needed. I wasn't ready for a real relationship but I think if I hadn't have met him when I did and started the affair, then it is very possible my Ex would have managed to talk his way back into my life. It's too late for that now.
It's late. I'm going to bed.
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