PICS!! & A Very Sick Baby..and a very sick me

SCROLL DOWN NOT IN ENTRY BOX BUT ON MAIN PART TO SEE PICS OF TALON AND FAMILY!
I'm sorry that it's been so long since I posted last but things have been AWFUL and I've had a lot to deal with. Talon has been very sick and it has been a hell ride ever since we brought him home from the hospital. I'll start from the beginning but this may take a minute to explain so bare with me. After I posted my last entry in the hospital it was brought to my attention by the nurses that Talon wasn't keeping his food down like he was supposed to...mind you I was trying to breast feed at the time. So first he's not keeping his food down, then it comes to my attention that he's also not getting enough milk from my breasts. So after two hours of alternating breasts trying to satisfy him it became apparent that I was going to have to supplement with a bottle. My original plan was to do this only ONCE because I was hell bent on breast feeding him. But the nurses took it upon themselves to not listen to my wishes, and when I realized that they had not brought him back in time for his regular feeding we called the nursery to find out why...turns out that they had been bottle feeding him the entire time!! I was NOT a happy camper so I told John to go get one of the nursing specialists out of the nursery to come and talk to me because I needed some advice. Obviously if the nursing specialist thought that bottle feeding would be best for him then I was more than willing to do whatever was necessary to keep him healthy but if breast feeding was still possible I wanted to continue trying to get my milk to drop. Apparently however the specialist was not happy with being called out of her comfy little office so she showed up in my room with an attitude...NOT the right thing to do! We had a small altercation during which time she informed me that she was not going to give me any advice about whether or not I should continue breast feeding because that was my decision....I wasn't asking her to make a decision for me I was simply asking her advice as a professional on the subject. Then she turns around and accuses Talon of being a nicotine baby because he was so fussy all the time..that PISSED ME OFF and I told her that she was an idiot..he was fussy because the poor thing was starving to death at which point she told me that she would leave some formula in his crib so if I felt I needed it I could use it and then left the room never to be seen again! ARGH! Anyway so I tried and tried and tried to get my milk to drop and it never happened so I was forced to allow them to put him on bottle...I bawled my eyes out!

The next morning they did his circumcision...that was hard for me! I felt so bad when they took his diaper off to show me what it looked like and explain how to take care of it because I knew the poor baby had to be in a lot of pain and with that on top of being so hungry I knew he was absolutely miserable. Regardless they decided to discharge us that day and we were on our way home before we knew what hit us. Well if you remember from past entries John's brother Jason and his fiancee Kristi are living with us right now...it had been an agreement that while I was in the hospital they would set the house up and get it ready for the baby. We walked in the house and not only was it trashed but they were no where to be seen! John was LIVID, I mean absolutely seeing red so he texted Kristi to find out what the deal was. She then explained that they had been under the impression that we were all going to set up the house once I got home from the hospital so regardless of whether it was or not we just looked at it as a misunderstanding and let it go at that. But the damage had been done on John's nerves already so when Jason and Kristi got home that night he was very relieved, thinking that I was going to have help with the babies (John hadn't slept but maybe three hours in days!! He refused to sleep at the hospital because he was scared something was going to happen to me). Jason and Kristi had other plans however and informed us that they had only stopped by to get some clothes because they were going to spend the night with their other brother Josh to help him spread hay in his newly graded yard the next day. Little did we anticipate the kind of night we were about to face...every bit of liquid we tried to get down Talon's throat he would throw back up almost instantly and I'm talking projectile vomiting. In between vomiting he was crying at the top of his lungs, kicking his little feet and turning beet red. Needless to say we panicked and called the pediatricians emergency line. The nurse informed me that until a pediatrician could see him the next day there was nothing that could really be done for him other than giving him one ounce every thirty minutes throughout the night. We then called my grandmother and had her go pick up some soy formula because since he'd been spitting up my breast milk we thought it might help. It did help a little bit but it still wasn't good enough to keep him satisfied. So thats what we did but he still threw up and screamed all night long, and to make matters worse due to lack of sleep and extreme stress John had a complete mental breakdown! He started screaming and sobbing and because I was occupied with Talon there was nothing I could do to ease his distress, so finally I just told him to go to bed and that I would deal with Talon on my own. That was one of the hardest nights of my life...I finally got him to go to sleep around 6 that morning and then Isabel woke up two hours later ready to get which woke Talon up screaming and I could not get John to wake up, in fact his breathing was very shallow. So once again I panicked and this time regardless of how early in the morning it was I called my momma, I couldn't handle it I HAD to have backup. Thankfully my mom understood completely and was at the house within five minutes after my phone call. She first took Talon and allowed me to use the restroom which I hadn't been able to do since late in the evening. Then I took care of Isabel got her happy and then took Talon back so momma could check on John, it took a long time but we were finally able to rouse him to consciousness enough to find out that he was at least okay, but very sick. Momma then took Isabel to my grandmothers house so that we could take Talon to the doctors office. We got all the way up to the doctors office however only to find out that the pediatrician had been called away and the only person available to see Talon was a nurse. She said that she thought it was colic and that I should continue the routine I had him on until Monday when the real doctor could see him...I was PISSED!!!! So we headed back home, picked up Isabel and I went through another full day of Talon being miserable and by the time night fell it became obvious that I desperately needed help. So once again I called my momma and asked her if she could come help me...she however came up with a different solution. My grandmother used to be a nurse and is VERY good with babies so momma suggested that I let Grammy take Talon for the night and see if she could come up with a routine for him where he could keep food down. At first I questioned letting my little boy spend a night away from me so soon after he'd been born, but I knew that if John and I didn't get some sleep soon we would be no good to either one of our children so we agreed and they came and picked him up. We slept till almost noon that day but there was all of a sudden a loud knock on the side of the house which woke all of us including Isabel up...it was Kristi and John's sister in law Sara. Josh wanted John to leave us at the house and come help spread hay at his house. Of course being the awesome father John is he refused to leave his sick wife and child at which point Josh told him that he was done with him he never wanted to see him or "his fat ass girlfriend" again, that we were the laziest people he'd ever met and that we made him sick..so you know what FUCK him!! We then got up, got ready and went to Grammy's house to see how everything during the night had gone...Grammy only got three hours sleep that night but she had come up with a routine for Talon and he hadn't spit up one single time since she'd found it. It was ten sucks of the bottle every ten minutes around the clock unless Talon was asleep...a very time consuming routine but it was simply a relief to see him keeping his food down. I felt so bad when I was then informed that after a sleepless night with my son Grammy was expecting a bunch of family over to visit that day, so we visited with my Aunt Laura, cousin Brittany, her son Brendan and my Aunt Rhonda...it was a very long day. After they left we all sat down and talked about how we could come up with a solution so tha John and I would have help with the babies. Since then we've been swapping the babies out every night...one night we keep Isabel and they keep Talon the next night they keep Isabel and we keep Talon. To make matters worse on me my milk decided to drop all of a sudden so now I am completely engorged and hurting BADLY!

Last night I kept Talon, and was once again up all night long taking care of a screaming baby. Because even though he was now keeping food down he was still immensely hungry. On top of that I had taken him into our bedroom to get him used to the dark room and so I didn't realize that with every diaper change the wipes I was using (which he is apparently allergic to) were rubbing him absolutely red raw! It wasn't until he screamed out that I had John turn on the light to find that he was in pain...I felt AWFUL. Talon finally fell asleep at 4:30 in the morning, but woke back up at 7 then fell asleep once more at 8:30 but I had to be up at 9:30 to get ready for his appointment which was at 11 today.John went job hunting, Pepe (my grandfather) kept Isabel and Grammy took me to the appointment. The pediatrician looked him over, told me that other than his stomach troubles and his rash he was perfectly healthy and then diagnosed him with acid reflux which Isabel also had but not nearly as bad as poor little Talon. The pediatrician put him on the soy milk for good, prescribed a teaspoon of rice in every bottle and then prescribed him two ointments for his bottom and sent me on my way...I honestly think I'm going to change pediatricians asap because they are just as rude as you could imagine. Anyway so we picked up the necessary things and went home to try the doctors remedy. At first we continued to do the ten sucks every ten minutes but when John got home he decided that he wanted to try something different. So we handed Talon over and he tried it his own way, it was basically the same routine only allowing him to have more at one time and not waiting quite as long between servings...and to our astonishment it worked!!! We are so relieved because it means that as soon as we can get his butt to heal Talon can start to be a normal baby...for tonight Grammy and Pepe kept Talon one last time in order for me to catch up on the sleep I didn't get last night and then tomorrow morning first thing John and I are going to pick him up to try taking care of him on our own again. My grandparents have made it clear that if ANYTHING comes up and I need them they will more than willingly come and get one of the kids again but obviously I'd rather have both of my children if at all possible.

Another thing that has presented a problem is that I'm having to go to an emergency doctors visit for myself tomorrow. Today I started hurting something fierce, it was already after hours at my OBGYN but I called the nurse line to see if they thought I should go into the hospital. Instead the doctor called me in something for pain, but then my bleeding got ten times worse so first thing in the morning I have to go in. I'm not panicking yet because it could be something as simple as a pulled stitch or something along that line, but with the amount of pain I've been in it could also be something much worse so lets keep our fingers crossed that it's something simple. Oh yeah and just as an update the first day after I stayed at Grammy's to have help with Talon when we got home Jason and Kristi had cleaned the house...we were very shocked and very pleased! Anyway I think I've made this entry long enough and I've got to go get some sleep so until next time I'm outtie...Ciao and Blessed Be!