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Gothic Chick
by Anna LOVES Thomas

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next entry: Fun in the snow and a quick update

Between Family Bliss and Wedded Bliss

01/01/2010

Between Family Bliss and Wedded BlissSo how in the world DO you choose between family bliss and wedded bliss? Here allow me to explain my predicament and then maybe you'll be able to help me. Having been brought up in the south by my old fashioned yet extremely loving grandparents the importance of marrying the man you have children with was pushed on me almost as soon as I was able to understand the words. And I do honestly believe that it would be better for my children if John and I were married...after all once they start school it would be difficult for them to explain to their friends and fellow classmates why their parents have different last names. I can only imagine the names they would be called and the teasing they would have to endure. SO for them I know that family bliss is extremely important which leads me to believe that I should marry John as soon as possible.

On the other hand there is wedded bliss which is also very important to me. John and I still have problems to work out and to be honest after being in a bad marriage for four years I don't want to get married again and end up right back in the same situation I was in before. I want to know that when I marry John that it will be for good, I don't want to go through another divorce especially when there are children involved....so how do I choose? Should I wait and make sure that John and I are going to be good for each other (mind you we've lived in the same home and lived as a married couple without the paper work for going on three years now) or should I for the sake of my kids go ahead and get married as soon as possible?

Well I did have other things to update about but for now I'm to tired to bother with it so I'll update again later! Until then as usual I'm outtie ciao and Blessed Be!

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Would it really be better for you guys to be married if you're not sure that's what you want?

[Walk By FaithStar|0 likes] [|reply]

My parents have never been married and I can honestly say that no kids, whether they liked me or not, cared much about that at all. In all actuality, it was never an issue for me at all growing up. Different people have different preferences of course but I don't think it's at all damaging for a child to grow up with parents who have different last names. Ryan and I don't plan on getting married even though we're having a baby together, at least not for at least three years. We want to be sure that it's what we want and that we can live together happily with a child there. I've always thought that I would be a single mom just because that's how it's been for the most part in my family, the men usually walk out. But now I need to get used to the idea of sharing the responsibilities, joys, and frustrations with someone else. Just like Ryan has to decide if he's ready to give up his party life.
Both people are going to have to make changes in their lives for that sort of commitment and you should be 100% sure about it before you take the leap.
Living with someone because you want to and living with someone because you want to and you have to can be two completely different experiences, even if the actual living situation doesn't change.

[Aly|0 likes] [|reply]

My parents weren't married until I was seven years old. I was never teased for having parents with different last names. If you have to question whether or not you want to get married to this person, which leads you to believe that you still have issues with the relationship that need to be resolved, I would say that you know the answer in your heart. I think it's more difficult to deal with a marriage then divorce than "non-marriage".

[xo heatherStar|0 likes] [|reply]

You're welcome. Good luck!

[xo heatherStar|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: Yw and that is understandable.

[[accepting.change]Star|0 likes] [|reply]

Ryc: Well good luck with whatever you decide!

[Aly|0 likes] [|reply]

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