ISABEL'S SURGERY OH MY GOD I am so nervous I feel like I might throw up, and the bad part is I'm going to feel like this ALL WEEK LONG!! They have scheduled Isabel's surgery for Thursday, to make matters worse the system they work with is so fucked up I don't even get to know what time or where until the day before!! Wednesday a nurse will call me to give me the directions and time to arrive on Thursday! Even worse than that ever since I found out people have been making these horrible unthinking remarks like "her surgery is Thursday? I hope she makes it through it" or my personal horror "her surgery is Thursday? Thats scary do you realize how many children have died under anesthesia?" Believe it or not these comments are not isolated incidents, they are coming from every where! Every time someone makes one of those idiotic comments I want to scream at the top of my lungs "HELLO THIS IS MY CHILD WE'RE TALKING ABOUT! NOT THE NEIGHBORS, OR THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!" Poor Isabel doesn't know whats come over me because all I can do is hold her, terrified to let her go! This month has been so horrible, I'm scared, I've never been this scared nor felt this powerless in my entire life!!!! If you're a parent reading this may your God grant you the blessing of never having to go through something like this with your children! Not to mention the fact that everytime theres a knock at the door I think it's the defacs worker coming to look over the house, there is nothing wrong with the house of course but like I told one blooper already I don't trust defacs not to try something regardless you know?
Other than that my surgery to get my tubes tied is the 31st and I start a new job this Tuesday as a floater for a security company. Being a floater means that I only work when someone calls in sick or goes on vacation or something a long that line, but it's a paycheck no matter how small and at this point thats all that matters! Right now I have nothing else to update so I'm outtie..caio and Blessed Be!
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