i feel like writing but i honestly dont know what to write about, so if you are reading this, bear with my random thoughts......lately its like i feel things differently, i dont think of certain feelings the same as i used to. a few years ago to me love meant something magical, wonderful, something that would make my life bearable, happy. now it feels more like a chance at the lottery, who knows if i will ever find someone compatible, not perfect but someone who loves me and is willing to stay with me llike they day, through sickness and in health. with so many people out in the world you would think there's somebody for everybody. it just doesnt feel that way anymore. there are millions of people who never find love, and not because they are terrible people, or unattractive, or unlikeable, but because it just never happens...i used to think that it was so simple, you live your life, and one day fate would have you run into each other. now i feel like im on a cycle of false hopes and disapointment.
and while i took a break form writing some guy just sat down out of the blue and started talking to me, which was super akward but you gotta give him props for trying, he seemed nice but he also seemed nice in that i could be a stalker way, so i don't know what to make of what just happened.
i think God has an intresting sense of humor, he must love fucking with people like this.
If anything it cheered me up some, and if it wasnt for me maybe God did it to help the boy with talking to girls, because it was a obvious he was a lil inexperienced in that area.
for whatever reason, it was a strange situation all together, but if it boosted that boys confidence some im glad it hppened
and i dont want to be a bitch but i really really hope he's not a serial killer...he had that vibe....
this little distraction has veered me off course on my moaning about loneliness and how love is a bitch.
and now i dont feel like writing at all..i have a bad attention span  ....poop. well i hope this didnt make you too sad
and u have depression like me and cant help being sad, you are definetly not alone
but remember one thing.........dying is never the answer, even if you feel like thats your only option...most of the time i do, but please believe, you are needed here, if by no one you know, then by me, i know how u feel. |
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I think everyone can relate to feeling like this at times. It is definitely important to remember that you're not alone & there is always someone out there that has probably experienced what you have. I hope it gets better.