Looking at adoption profiles is exhausting.

My parents and brother have been taking an interest in looking at different adoptive parent profiles, and I love that they are doing that.
I like hearing their opinions on the couples, because sometimes I miss an important point in a profile and when it is drawn to my attention, I take a better look.

But holy pete. It's exhausting mentally.

70 profiles on the site for my state, and I swear that I've looked at every single one at least three times.
I don't think I really know what I'm looking for in an adoptive couple; and that might be why it's so straining to me.

Since I grew up with a loud, over-talking, overbearing extended family where no one really gets anywhere in a conversation because everyone wants to talk (kind of a bad thing for me and my mom who are both laid back, quiet people), I want the baby to be able to express his opinion, and have a respecting, quiet family/extended family who allow him to come out of his shell and be a creative, loving person. Not a child or person that is pushed away and not able to get out his thoughts.

I want an adoptive family who has pets. I think that people who have pets come off as nurturing, loving people. I want him to grow up knowing how to love and respect animals.
Even if the adoptive family doesn't have any pets, I still am looking for the nurturing, loving couple who will teach him how to respect and love things for who they are.

I want the couple to be close to Grand Haven.
I wouldn't mind an adoptive couple that lives an hour away, but some of the profiles are from Madison Heights, and that is on the other side of the state.
One of the main things I picture when I think about the delivery is the adoptive couple and whichever family they want being there.
I want to be able to have my mom call up the adoptive counselor and the adoptive couple, tell them I am in labor, and them be able to be there for the birth.

I am definitly looking for an active family. Height runs on my dad's side, and both of my male cousins are around 6'7" tall, and my brother is easily 6'4" tall.
If the baby decides that he is into sports, I want an adoptive family that will possibly work with him on his skills, and encourage him to be outside, being active and enjoying the fresh air.

I also am a creative person, lover of everything art, and I would want one of the parents to have a creative side to them.
Maybe do crafts with the baby when he is old enough, take him out for walks and admire nature.

Even if he doesn't get the 'creative gene' or 'sports lover gene', I would still want an adoptive couple that would encourage him in everything he does.

A profile that my mom picked out had an adoptive family that lived on a farm out in the country.
I lived out in the country where there wasn't really any girls or kids my age, and I turned into a loner.
I had my brother, who is two years younger, and we used to go over to my grandma's house during the summer.
She and my grandpa had a retired farm, and so we had the silos to play in (I know now that wasn't a great idea), the old hay barn that still had the stalls and some leftover hay left inside, and the old chicken coop.

I would love to think of the baby growing up on a farm, but if he is the only child, how secluded is he going to be, and is there going to be any other children around for him to play with and interact with?

I guess I'm afraid of the possibility of him becoming...like me. Because I know how hard it is being alone.
But then I think that if he has two loving parents, he won't really be alone (as I really wasn't alone, since my mom was a stay-at-home mom), and that he would have them to fall back on if he is having any problems.

My mom said it would create a lot of good memories for him being out in the country, since they would have woods and everything.
Living out in town, the adoptive family may not have a huge backyard, but I sure bet that there would be a kid down the street who the baby could become friends with once he gets older, and he wouldn't be alone and without any friends his own age.

It's confusing. And plain exhausting.
I just want him to have the best life possible, but I'm not sure what would be the best life for him as in terms of picking out a family for him. Because I don't know what he is going to want or like when he gets older, or else it would be easy to pick out a family that best suits him and his needs and feelings.

Meanwhile, I'm thinking about taking a break from these profiles until Thursday. Or maybe even later today. My eyes are starting to cross from looking at them.

Where I work, my boss's grandson comes in a lot to the kitchen, and I was wondering what I should say if the grandson (who is 4 years old) asks where I have been; or where the baby is.

My mom and I already decided on me telling him "He went to a new mommy." if he asks.
But if he asks why the baby went to a new mommy, we arn't sure what I should say.

I was just wondering how I could explain this to a little boy without confusing him.