Update.

That's a good idea. A Letter early on would show that you have never forgotten about him. I hope the adoptive parents make sure he knows you haven't forgotten him.

*just me*

you could write him a letter now for when he gets older, just explaining your thoughts and stuff and the reason behind the adoption.

i think between now and his 1st birthday you absolutely could write Niklas a letter and have plenty to say by then. *hugs*

Yeah when he grows up if the parents do tell him he was adopted.. he might have questions. A letter might be nice

there's no harm in writing him a letter, even if your thoughts are so scattered right now it would be good to write it all down, write down everything your thinking and wondering so that one day he can see that you never forgot about him, always loved him and just wanted what was best for him. I think at some point in his life he would really appreciate it. And im glad that you still have a friendship with the birthfather, someone that you can talk to that is going through it with you and the fact that he is taking an interest in Niklas and if he looked like the two of you ect shows that he does care and that he too wants what is best for him.

u could tell him the truth your reasons and etc. i wasnt wanted by my biogloical parents for no good reasons... she was selfish and he didnt want to pay child support (he adopted away 2 other girls by other women, and hes on his thrid wife) but she just wanted to goof off since i was deaf, she didnt know what to do so i had been around my aunt (who i call my mom since i was 2) ever since... now she regrets it... i dk if she really does but i dont talk to her..

he might understand its always hard for the children who are adopted away... but he will know u always cared! what if you wrote to him every birthday?

I would write letters even if you don't send them. I'm sure one day he will want to read them

That's the good thing about an open adoption... Niklas will be able to "find you" easily. :]

Even if you just write him a couple letters, and then after a while go through them and pick out what you really wanted to say. I think it would be great for you to show him you didnt give him up "just because you didnt want him" kinda thing. I'm glad the birthfather is understanding and that you two can talk about it.

fears.on.fire

i had no clue u and he had been keeping in touch. good 4 u 2.

awww bless the birth father, i hope that he figures out in his head what he wants to do and a letter sounds good! maybe once you start writing it will all just flow out and be easier to write

I can understand why the birth father would stop to consider whether he wanted to see pictures or not.

It's interesting that he's adopted too. I wonder how all of this has affected him differently from you on that perspective.

I think even a short letter would say a lot. I don't know what it's like to be adopted and what goes through someone's mind when they think about their birth parents, but I'd imagine just an aknowledgement would be a good thing.

~

international

I've said it before, but I kind of think this whole diary is a letter to Niklas. It sheds some insight on you as his birth mother, on his birth father and on how you choose the people who will become such an integral part of his life. He'll probably have some of the same questions that you've already answered in the FAQ. Every parent wants to give their child a better life than they themselves have, right? And that's what you've done for Niklas. This journal showcases that.

I definately think you should save this diary and consider sending it to him for him to read when he's older. It's so lovely and shows how much thought and care and love went into having him and choosing the right parents.
It'd be nice to write him a letter too. You could always make notes now, just little things you've thought of and then cherry pick the best bits for the letter you write later?

It's lovely about the father wanting to know whilst respecting your decision.

amy