The adoption process
I had my first appointment with the pregnancy counselor, and she explained to me the different types of adoption, legal information and gave me a lot of paperwork to fill out for the next appointment on April 8.
Different types of adoption.
The different types of adoption that I have learned about so far are closed adoption, where there is no contact with the family, no pictures, no letters, no nothing.
Semi-open adoption is where there are pictures and letters being sent. But no seeing the baby, or visitations with the baby and family.
And than open adoption, where there are visitations, letters, pictures, and the birthmother is involved with the adoptive parents and baby.
If I do get a close relationship with the adoptive mother, I would like to continue meeting her for coffee, or dinner dates if she has time.
I wouldn't mind hearing about the baby. But to be honest, I've never developed the "motherly instinct", and haven't developed a bond with the baby, so it will be easy for me to hear about him, and not want him back.
The legal things.
There will be two birth certificates for the baby.
The one will have my name on it as the mother, along with his birth name.
I am planning on having his birth name put on the first birth certificate with the name the adoptive parents pick out.
The birth certificate with me as the mother will then be sealed, and than a new certificate will be made out listing the adoptive mother and adoptive father as the mother and father.
There will be a 2 week period where the baby will go home with the adoptive parents, and in that two week time, if I change my mind and decide to keep the baby (which I won't be), I can take him back.
If I go through with the adoption process, than I will have to show up to court in front of a judge, and sign the papers for the adoption. Once I sign my name to the papers, I cannot change my mind.
Telling the birthfather.
I took the easy way out, and am having my adoption counselor call him up, and tell him that I am pregnant with his child and that I will be giving the baby up for adoption.
He will be sent a legal paper, where he will have to check either:
-He is the father.
-He might be the father.
or he is definitly not the father.
If he does not mail in the paper, he will be notified of the court date.
If he does not show up to the court date, then I am free to sign the papers.
If he does want to try and keep the baby, the judge will go through a series of questions.
The judge will ask him if he has a job, if he has a place of his own and if he has a criminal record. He will have to pass every question. The birthfather's parents cannot step foward and try to take the baby, or say that they will care for it.
Looking for adoptive parents.
During my next appointment with my adoption counselor, I will be looking at scrapbooks adoptive parents have put together, and also looking at profiles online.
I have already found a couple that I would possibly like to meet with, and will be posting their profile (without pictures for their privacy) in an entry soon.
Thanks for visiting.
Quiet Rain |