My son is how I used to be before I had a kid: he loves to stay up until 2am and sleep in until 1pm. He's already a teenager at almost-8-months-old.
He looks at me, tries to grab onto me, and says "mom, mamama, mom" when he wants me to pick him up.
He's growing so fast.
I've lost 20 pounds since leaving the hospital when I gave birth (36 pounds overall), and I'm pretty happy about it.
I can't shake the feeling that I just need to lose five more pounds, but I will always have that feeling.
When I was 100 pounds, I had that feeling.
So, I know it's not really true.
I have a tattoo and I've dyed my hair pink.
It's almost like I'm myself again.
Except... I'll never be, because there have been too many changes.
Sometimes I wish that I could go back and change some things. But it is what it is, and my life is pretty wonderful, actually.
Maybe all of these things were the catalyst for how my life turned out. I dunno.
I think we will start trying again for another baby soon, although I'm utterly and completely terrified, so I might change my mind. |
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