Your introduction to my life

02/04/2011

So, I've just spent the last hour or two trying like hell to figure out how to work this website. I had my 'About me' section completed twice before finding out that it's different than I though, etc. etc. My point is that I'm feeling really dumb right now, and rightfully so!

Now, for those who partake in my blog, one thing is simple: I've had some stories over the years that are quite humorous and I'd like to share them with everybody. Of course, I'll do that after getting settled in and updating my one reader (myself!) on where I am right now. So, here it goes!

For about two weeks I've had a slight crush on this girl. She works at a local coffee shop which is why I've given her the alias of "Coffee Shop Girl," short for "Coffee Shop Princess - Girl of my dreams." I've never spoken to her. Not a once. However, my friend, "Blondie," works with her so I have a small connection.

I understand that some of you might think I'm degrading these women by giving them names like "Coffee Shop Girl," "Blondie," and if you continue to read my stories you'll also become familiar with the likes of "Tits on Rolls," "Miss Anonymous," and "Nice girl." I'd like to make it clear that I am not trying to be mean. These are just names given to them by me (or in the case of "Tits on Rolls," my brother) to protect their identity and to, in some cases, give you and understand of what they are like. So I'm sorry if you do not agree with my way of doing things, but then again I'm not because it's pretty simple to close out of a page.

Back to "Coffee Shop Girl." I have had this crush on her ever since I walked to the coffee shop before class one day and saw her. She is really pretty, not in the way some of your typical tool-looking, frat-party goers, jock-looking type of guys would like, but pretty in that she is absolutely pretty in my eyes. They say beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, well, there is a lot of truth to that. I don't find your Barbie looking girls attractive. I mean, sure, they are good looking girls and a lot of guys would drool over them. However, when I see a girl who obviously spends so much time - and money - trying to make herself look like that I can only imagine what kind of self-esteem issues lie deep down beyond those superficial looks and expensive clothes. "Coffee Shop Girl" was attractive, but she didn't look like she was trying to make anybody go "Lyke, zomg she is like soooo good looking lyke omg u know!?" Nope. And sure, she was at work so her looks couldn't have been at the best they were capable of looking but it doesn't matter because you can still tell.

ANYWAYS (I will go off on tangents a lot)!

I asked my friend who works with her about her. You know, all of the questions you'd ask a friend about a boy/girl you fancy: Is she single? Do you know if she is looking? Does she put out? (I'm joking about the last one, although it would be nice... (again, joking)) As it turns out, she was single and a little disappointed that she was going to be spending Valentines Day alone.

Here is where we are now.

At this point in time, I'm thinking of ways to ask her out. For all I know she is a nice looking girl who, from what I've heard from my friend and other sources, is also a nice person. I've talked to some people about how to ask her out, how to approach her, and the best advice I've gotten is to go in there a little more often when she is working so I can become a familiar face and then to eventually just joke around with her so I can get to know her. Then, the question - do you want to go out some time? etc. Of course, there are only 10 days before V-day. Well, something has got to give.

Now to the part where I am a romantic failure.

I'm sure that I'll screw this up because in the past I have screwed these things up. I can promise you that I'll go up to the girl to ask her out and my voice will crack leading to complete chaos involving me panicking, possibly spilling my coffee on her face leading her to be a girl with second degree burns on her face and leaving me with another story to talk to you about.

All I can say is that I need your guys' good-luck wishes. I'm not very familiar with this site but if you want to message me or comment on this if it's possible giving advice that would be cool and stuff. I'll be sure to keep you updated and my gosh if you read ALL of this, you deserve a Nobel peace prize...

...they give them out to anybody nowadays anyways, right? Farewell, goodnight, last one out turn out the lights. Take it easy, folks!