reaching for words, but there's nothing to say. | 05/26/2009 |
Currently: [Tick Tock:] 248pm
[Ends In Y:] Tuesday
[Munching:] Nothing
[Slurping:] Coffee
[Not Naked:] The Starting Line shirt & AERO jogging pants
[Air Pollution:] TV
[Chit-Chatting:] Away Message Says... Blah.
I quit.
It's not like I would've won anyway.
Scream Me A Love Song. I hate this. I hate that my heart hurts so much over this. I hate that my life felt kind of complete with his return into my life and now... I'm just bummed. I'm not even completely sure that he's exited my life, it just feels that. I try and talk to him and his responses seem off and forced. Everything seems forced. When I try and tell him of my worries, he just tells me that I'm coming up with another one of my dumb conclusions and that I know that he loves me. Do I know that though? Do I believe it? I want to believe it, I just don't know that I do. I don't know why he throws that into all our conversations. We can't throw those words around. It's not that I believe that they've taken on a new meaning since we slept together, I just don't think they fit so simply into our relationship anymore. Our relationship is a lot more complicated now. It's not just him and me... It's him and me and that. And I don't know why he says it anymore anyway. He makes it seem like he doesn't want to speak to me. That he regrets speaking to me again. That he wishes he would've just ignored my lame attempt at talking to him again. And if those things are the case, I don't know why he just won't say so. He gets nothing by continuing to speak to me. It's not like he needs me to help build his ego. Girls love him... Of every variety. Keeping me around doesn't seem to make any sense and it's beginning to hurt my heart the more I try and convince myself that he means the things he says... When he says that he wants to talk to me. That he's not ignoring me. That he loves me.
I just wish my heart would stop hurting.
Shannon
classic layouts
|
|
|
|
Loading...