Lots of things I could've written. No time. Sorry November, I failed you.
Something that was a note, on a friend's entry, until I decided that wasn't the place for it.
I was thinking today, how I sometimes kinda envy my trans friends, because in a way, it could be easier to just know that you're the wrong gender. I hate being a girl, but I know I am one. I had a lot of times in my life when I seriously debated that, honestly, but no... I am a girl. I like my breasts sometimes, even though they get in the way. I'm quite happy with my vagina, I just sometimes... feel like I'm missing a penis. (I wonder if I was born a hermaphrodite? They just cut it off and never tell you. Sometimes they never tell your parents either. Reason #972 why I'm homebirthing.)
I hate being a girl, a lot, because of what comes with it. I carry every time someone told me something I couldn't do "because you're a girl". Camp, hike, work on cars, work with wood... hell, I was the only girl sometimes in my computer classes, and I was better than everyone, but I was still a girl and that made me less.
I say I'm a girl, I'm just really bad at it, and right now that makes me smile so it's good.
(I know I'd be just as terrible a boy, though. If I was a boy, I'd be the tiny boy, with the long hair, big eyes and too tight pants. *laugh*) |