Note to self : this 'relationship' is not healthy.
Remember how shit and worthless you feel right now, and make it stop. You won't listen. Either he wants to be with you, or he doesn't.
Lying awake, listening to him fuck a woman like some backwards voyeur is not normal, and it's not doing you any good.
He fucks you, he doesn't love you. A means to an orgasm. He wants you because you're convenient and you're acting like a stupid slut.
Talking to myself now, that's sane.
A word of advice - never fuck your best friend. You'll end up as wrecked as me.
I promised I'd never be this person. How did I end up so deeply involved in something I tried to avoid? And how does he win me over every time? It all seems so loving, and then...
But I don't want it to end. I do, I do, but... when he's actually here, I forget how I feel when he leaves. I hate pretending. Either he wants me, or he doesn't. Why am I letting him do this to me over and over?! For fucks sake, I need to open my eyes.
Some people just aren't meant to have fuck buddies... and I was naive enough to agree to this. I have no one to blame but myself. |
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It's hard to let go especially when you really love someone, and it's even harder knowing that they're just using you. Alls you want is for them to feel the same about you as you do them. I hope you figure it out soon. You will be okay in time... I promise. 
eeks. *hugs*. thinks will get better.
friends with benefits CAN be hard, but the trick can also be to find someone who can respect you and make you feel amazing enough that you dont have these thoughts. 
re: I saw the spical on PBS (local tv sation where i live) and It made me want to read the book.
Fuck buddies never worked out for me, someone always got attached..
Hugs. I've never been in that situation, but I can imagine it sucks. 
it'll get better
it's hard to be fuck buddies. i started that way with my boyfriend. it ended happily though which is rare.
Welcome to Bloop!!