walk of shame & probably tmi. | 02/05/2010 |
Good times.
Ugh, I'd forgotten how awful the walk of shame is - don't talk to me, taxi man! You know the truth! No one dresses like this and looks this rough at 9am on purpose! I feel like stopping random passer-bys and telling them it wasn't a one-night stand, and yes I know his name! But they... probably would be even more confused then.
So, yes. I stayed with Chris after a night out last night - it was a strange night. Basically... the girl who had a problem with me seeing him is turning the whole thing into some drama-filled shit, like we're stuck in an episode of Gossip Girl or something! What the FUCK is her problem? I don't interfere in her relationships, so she should butt the fuck out of mine. it doesn't concern her. AT ALL. The problem is, she used to be one of my closest friends, but I don't even want to look at her anymore. But I have to - we have all the same friends, she's always going to be there... but I suppose... I'll just have to take the high-ground and not even rise to her bullshit.
We talked for ages, whispering so as not to wake up his flatmate - I'm amazed how comfortable I feel talking to him about everything - I explained the whole Richey thing, which I think is the crux of the matter... the one I've been avoiding, because I can't be bothered with the drama. "Is he going to beat me up?!" Fuck no. He'll just be really sad and I'll feel like a bad person all over again. This is how I know I like him - I don't care, I don't care, they can fuck themselves, mind their own fucking business, grr!
It was 5am by the time we actually went to bed - I really, really wanted him more than I knew was possible - if I'd let it, it could freak me out. But no - I think it's a good thing. We took everything painfully slowly - kissing like teenagers, fingers slipping under shirts and waistbands, bodies pressed together while fully dressed for such a long time I thought I was going to scream. This is what happens when two slightly shy people get together, apparently - but I wasn't complaining. It just meant that when my shaking hands figured out his overly complicated belt I felt like I'd earned the prize. I was almost ready to let him push me ove the edge - but well, as slightly embarrassing as it is to admit - gender dysphoria can make orgasms rather hard to acheive at times - so being that close is such a big deal to me. It means I must trust him more than I realise. I don't know if that makes sense. If you're with someone who doesn't really understand, it can be extremely uncomfortable - because being reminded of your physical sex can put you out of the mood pretty quickly. If he's already able to make me get lost and forget, I can't wait to see what will happen with time.
Chris, on the other hand, was 'going to ruin the dress if you keep....' I don't care. Although it did lead to me laughing at myself, lying there thinking how much I was dying to get a glass of water, but didn't know how bad the stain was, and not feeling like having an awkward flatmate moment. That's normal!
This afternoon, we updated facebook to show we're together - because it's not official until it's on facebook!
simple layouts. |
|
|
Loading...
OH YAY! You guys are officially together. SQUEE!! 
I'm happy for ya, nick! 
Sounds like a good night besides all the drama. Don't let bitches get to you. 
