Things look brighter....

WHAT A WEEK!!!!!! lots have happen within the last week...boy did it happen. lets see heres an update...

the ex b.f...still not with him. everyone thought i would get back with him by now but nope im not and i really dont plan on it. i really truly think that it is officially over between us. even though he doesnt think so and he wants to work things out. but i really think its over its probably for the better. i tried and tried to explain it to him but he wouldnt get it threw his head. so there for i had to show him that it was and i will get into that in a little bit.

other guy: well i told the other guy that things need to stop between us because it wasnt right and plus it wasnt fair to me that i have been in love with him for the last 3 and half years and he really never returned the feelings. it just seems like he has been using me for the sex and what not. we have barely talked within the last week. we talked on saturday night while i was drunk for 3 hrs. we actually finally had a serious conversation about us and i told him that things need to end. he said that it was ok cause it was up to me and after saturday of what happen things do need to end. its for the best. ever since my best friend moved in with me he barely talks to me because she is sisters to the girl that he is in love with and he dont want her to say anything to her sister. its all very complicated. i try to explain it and its just really hard. its easier to follow if you were involved or knew the ppl. i swear one of these days im gonna write MTV a letter telling them that they need to do a reality show on me and my life cause it gets so complicated. i dont think they will but i damn well bet that a lot of people would watch it. so short story long i basically ended it with him to. its a new year with new beginnings and here is why......

the new guy...well technically he isnt a new guy. i met him in my step fathers bar. he was trashed and he tried to pick me up and i told him that i was going home with the bartender (which was my step father) and he got upset and walked away. well like a few weeks later he came up to me and apologized to me. i forgave him. i would see him at the bar here and there but never really talked to him just like stared at him. plus i was with my b.f at the time. well on saturday the bar was having a party and it was an open bar so of course me and my best friend went. got really trashed haha. well anyways there was this guy who was a complete ass to this new guy. and was tryin to get involved into my personal life saying he was gonna beat up this new guy and my ex for me. i told him to stay out of it and to leave me be. but he didnt listen to me. he went up to this new guy and shook his hand and told him he was gonna beat the shit out of him. the new guy just laughed at him and walked away. but apparently it was this huge thing and my mom wouldnt let me go back down stairs and i found this new guy and i talked to him and asked him what was going he basically said not to worry about it and asked me what i was drinking lol. so anyways i finally got to go down stairs after the ex kept questioning me what was going on and everything i just ignored him because it really had nothin to do with him and so i just ignored him. well during that night the new guy came up and talked to me and told me that he liked me and would like to take me out sometime and get to know me.we really hit it off. well also that night he kissed me in the hallway. my ex didnt see that thank goodness cause i wasnt ready for the 20 million questions yet. but then i asked this new guy to take a picture with me and he did and the ex saw that and tried to talk to me about it i didnt want to talk. so i just walked away from him. ever since he hasnt left me alone and keeps calling and texting me. i have been ignoring it all. i think he is realizing that i am moving on and that i have been for some time now even when we were together. i just wasnt happy with him. i havent told the ex about this new guy yet and that we are together. (we officially started dating today) because i just know that he will throw it right back in my face saying that we have broken up a week ago and here i am with another guy.
the last two days have been great. and i think thats another reason why i dont want to talk to the ex. cause he usually gets me mad. but the last two days were awesome. on monday night i went to this new guys house and we chilled and got to know eachother more. than today i played hookie from work and spent the day with him. and it was great. i love being around him. he makes me smile all the time and laugh all the time and its something i havent had in a while.

so things are looking brighter in my world. but im gonna sign off cause its 4:21am and i need sleep and to dream about this new guy hahahaha......

goodnight/ good morning all