Hello Once Again!

01/22/2014

I'm back! It's been a year and a half since I've had a bloop diary and I have definitely missed it. I was randomly sitting here thinking about how much I missed writing, and then I remembered I had a bloop diary. So i google searched for my name and found myself and omg was I strong little cookie a year and a half ago. All my entries were about a broken heart that has just started to mend. As I was reading my entries, I realized how much I had grown since my first relationship two years prior to that (the username for that diary is anmarienicole if anyone is interested in reading them). I can't imagine how much I have grown since that as well! I feel like I have finally figured out who I am. I am a 22 year old college student who sees nothing but beauty in the world. I find myself much happier when I realize the things I do have in my life than when I am wanting more. I have learned to appreciate the things I do have. I learned that positivity is key in life! It is the only way you are going to stay sane in this crazy life.

I wish I had continued that diary because there are so many things that have happened in my life since then that have impacted me so much in so many ways. Since that last relatonship, I had since been in another one that the feelings were just as strong if not stronger, and I did not think that would be possible after that horrendous heartbreak. His name was Cody, and he was a hockey player.



I met Cody by accident. I accidentally friend requested him on facebook and when I got a notification that he had accepted my friend request, I was so confused, but thank god I did! Within weeks of meeting Cody, I was head over heels. Although he was 19 and I was 21, the love between us was very strong. He lived in Canada to play for a junior league hockey team (but was originally from where I live in Monroe, Michigan) so when we started dating I had not met him yet (and all this started when the show catfish started showing on tv, talk about coincidence). The first time I met Cody was when I drove up to see him 8 hours from my home in Monroe. On this 8 hour trek, I rode with a girl from my high school named Armanda, who was dating Cody's coach (SMALL WORLD, RIGHT?!) I was so nervous, but the minute I saw Cody, it was like we had been together for years. We went out, did things couples do (I'm sure you can figure that part out ). That was definitely one of the best weekends of my life. Cody and I probably saw each other 20 or 25 times out of our 6 month relationship and when you put that into retrospect, it's really not alot. At all. Cody and I fell apart when he moved back home after the season was over....we just didn't know how to be in a relationship living so close to each other. As silly as that sounds, the problem was, I never realized all of Cody's negative qualities until he moved back home. There were so many things about him that I did not know and it ruined us. He just wasn't the person I thought he was. Not too long after we broke up, I found out he cheated on me. That's number 2 for good ole' me! But this relationship was not a waste of time. I learned so much! I learned what I do deserve. I learned that I should settle for nothing less than the best. I need someone who wants to be with me and show me what a real man is (can i get an AMEN?!)

I hope girls everywhere eventually learn what they are worth and what kind of relationship they are capable of. Please, if you have a second, I really recommend checking out my old diary. If any girl needs help in letting go and know how to handle a heartbreak, there are a couple entries in there that I even shocked myself with when I reread them a year and a half later. I am so proud of myself for being so strong and realizing that this one thing wasn't going to ruin the rest of my life. I saw the good in everything.

Stay true to you, realize what you're worth. Good Vibes always.

Namaste!