something m o r e

04/03/2009

i want to stay up all night reading books & journals & poetry. i want to philosophize during the afternoons and early evenings and i want to write write write into the sunset. i want to be better. always better. i want to be smarter. i want to know more, to do more, to see more... love more & live more & give more. i want to be more creative and more sincere. more responsible and more daring. more dedicated and more driven. more active. healthier. crazier.

((& all i want to be
is too much sometimes for me))

i want these things and yet

& yet they are perpetually so far away.

like an endless battle

with myself.

i had a beautiful morning today-- sun kissing my skin,
tangled up with that beautiful boy & a down comforter
sleeping through class and kissing into the afternoon.

beautiful.

& thats part of living too, i know.
its just a constant battle of balance.

::but i dont think i want balance::
::i think i want everything::

i want to be something more...
something more than i am

previous entry: living in the ruins of irony

next entry: a memory of a lighter time

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