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an empty frame.'s Diary
by an empty frame.

previous entry: Oh, what a night

next entry: Luke's mother

Advice request- "being there" for mourning boyfriend

08/14/2010

I must be emotionally dead. Luke's mother has had a stroke and they don't expect her to wake up. Not only do I hardly care, but I'm dreading having to attend the obligatory family events that will come up now. Of course I will attend anyway, out of devotion and respect to my boyfriend, but my question is...

How can I comfort him?? I can't imagine what it must be like to have a parent pass away... probably because I honestly wish every day that my parents would die. But how on earth do I comfort him? What should I do? How do I be there for him with out appearing put off or bored or without even THINKING that I have more interesting things to do with my time?

I'm such an asshole. I don't want to be. I want to be there for him. I love him and I envy him for having such an amazing family. I don't want him to be sad!!! I really don't. I really... don't want him to be sad. How do I comfort him *sigh*

previous entry: Oh, what a night

next entry: Luke's mother

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Honestly, just listen to him. You don't really have to do more than just offer your support as he works through his emotions. When my grandfather passed, I just wanted my husband to hold me. I didn't want him to talk, just listen to me. I'm really sorry to hear about his mom.

[BeautifulBrownEyesStar|0 likes] [|reply]


He's going to be sad, its expected. Just hold him and listen to him. It may be boring, but its probably what he needs. Give him a few weeks to sulk, then take his mind off of it.

♥ Karissa

[The Only Blitch.|0 likes] [|reply]

shit poor luke. and his mother.

i agree with the others, there's not a whole lot you can do. just be there and listen to him. you might need to pick up the slack in other areas. it all just depends on how he grieves i guess. i'm so sorry.

[& skull.|0 likes] [|reply]

Personally, I have never had to deal with this, however, I would just continue being you, be a little thoughtful, don't worry about talking, he will talk when he is ready. Don't push things. Just be there for him. *hugs* to you!

[~insert name~Star|0 likes] [|reply]

Take the parent part out.
How would you feel if one of your people died? Luke, or Matt, or the kid or his dad. Someone you actually care about. You're getting confused because you're trying to match it up to your experience, and you hate your parents. But this isn't about parents, it's about love.
Someone he's loved his whole life is dying.
I don't know if that helps, or if you just can't do death. Which is fine, some people can't. I'm terrible for not caring that someone's dead, even people I really do care about.
When you go to the funeral, pretend you're his guard. Your job is to keep anyone from bugging him. If it looks like he doesn't want to talk to someone, head them off. If he wants to be alone, make sure he gets to be alone.
He is your dom. Your job is to serve. Don't think about whys, just think about whats. Luke is hurting. It doesn't matter why. Luke needs you.
I hope that helps a little.

[a little one|0 likes] [|reply]

just listen to him
let him talk though, don't force him to talk about it
just be his shoulder to cry on or his hand to hold. thats all you can do.

i hate that feeling, I always feel so useless when shit happens in the bfs family because I never know what to say

[- misseriin*Star|0 likes] [|reply]

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