[NB this is a rushed entry
"Can I be in two relationships?" Well, what goes on between my sub and I was intended to stay strictly D/s, that is, I'd be his Dominant and he'd be my submissive... but, feelings came into it. First he got feelings for me, and I was like "oh, he's mistaking submissive feelings for romantic feelings" and then I went and got romantic feelings for him, too. Woops... Anyway, that's where the problem is. Luke and I discussed me having this boy as my submissive, the point was for me to be a sort of mentor to him. But, you know, he's so fucking gorgeous... *sigh*
In any case. Luke and I have a polyamorous relationship. We are open to include other people in our relationship as long as it is everybody knows what is going on and everything remains honest and blah blah blah.
From wikipedia.org
"The defining characteristic of polyamory is belief in the possibility of, and value of, multiple romantic loving relationships carried out "with the knowledge and consent of all partners concerned."[3] What distinguishes polyamory from traditional forms of non-monogamy (i.e. "cheating") is an ideology that openness, goodwill, intense communication, and ethical behavior should prevail among all the parties involved. Powerful intimate bonding among three or more persons may occur. Some consider polyamory to be, at its root, the generalization of romantic couple-love beyond two people into something larger and more fundamental.[4]
In practice, polyamorous relationships are highly varied and individualized. Ideally they are built upon values of trust, loyalty, negotiation, and compersion, as well as rejection of jealousy, possessiveness, and restrictive cultural standards.[5] Such relationships are often more fluid than the traditional "dating-and-marriage" model of long-term relationships, and the participants in a polyamorous relationship may not have preconceptions as to its duration.
Sex is not necessarily a primary focus in polyamorous relationships. Polyamorous relationships commonly consist of groups of more than two people seeking to build a long-term future together on mutually agreeable grounds, with sex as only one aspect of their relationship."
"How does this work between you and Luke? And would you always choose Luke if given the choice?"
Luke is my "primary partner". But... I don't really believe in the term. He's my "main boyfriend" but I don't think that that will ever stop a third person entering the relationship and us all being equals within the relationship. I would hate for a third (or fourth or whatever) person to feel less important than another person in our relationship/s. I think this is why it's a problem with Luke now, because it appears as though the sub boy has become more important than him, umm... Yeah. That's my fault. I wasn't being very careful there. If I was made to choose... I wouldn't necessarily always choose Luke. But because he's done what he's done for me, and with him paying for my therapy and everything... I would feel somewhat obligated. Which I know, sounds bad, but he's been to hell and back for me, so I'm wholly devoted to him and forever grateful. So, yeah, regardless of whatever sexual desires I may have for another person... Luke's feelings will always be put first, I think. Of course, I can't tell the future, but he's pretty important to me and I'd hate to ever lose him.
"Does luke have anything to do with your sub? What if you let him come in on it?"
That would make it a lot easier for both of me and Luke, yeah. But I don't think sub boy is interested in that. He's a bit scared of Luke, lol. I mean, I can understand that... He isn't exactly the "gentle" type. He's big and scary! And he broke my nose, LOL, so he's probably terrified of him now. It sucks because Luke and I *were* kind of wanting a "third" but ... between all of us, you know?
I'm going to talk to Luke about this seriously when he comes back from work today. Explain to him how much confidence this has given me, and that it's been a nice distraction from my therapy shit to have this little "project". I'll tell him that I'll cut down the number of hours I spend with the sub and spend more time with him. I'll remind him that the sub and I aren't having sex and even invite him to watch a session between us. ...Actually, when it comes down to it, my sub would let himself be dommed by the both of us afterall. He trusts me and knows I wouldn't let Luke hurt him, so yeah.
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I agree with &skull!