Bad feelings following a scene

08/01/2010

This is weird for me. Last night Luke, Matt and I had an amazing scene where Luke tortured the crap out of me while Matt and I did sexual things to each other. I fucking loved it and was a writhing mess for hours afterwards. Then I slept so deeply until about 2pm today.

Now I feel like a filthy fucking slut. I want to vomit and just hate myself. I considered a chastity belt to keep my hands off my stupid cock, but then the thought of being chastised turns me on, and I just hate myself for being so fucked up in such an inescapable way. I feel sick and disgusting and if I had energy to get the fuck up I'd spend forever in fhe shower scrubbing myself clean. But my naked body is the last thing I want to see. I might take my last two cock piercings out. I feel so dirty.

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you enjoyed yourself though. don't feel bad about it.

[& skull.|0 likes] [|reply]

It doesn't sound weird or strange. I actually kinda know how you feel.

The last time I played around with someone I did something similar. Even though it was fun to be tied up and touched and tortured the way I was, the first thing I did when I got home was shower and scrub myself off of that guy. It was an enjoyable experience, but for some reason I just felt disgusting and gross afterwords, with no real reason behind it.

[T.A.I|0 likes] [|reply]

Do you share often? There could be the thought that it was having extra eyes, to put you in that judgmental position.
Of course, you're not over kind to yourself right now anyway. So that's not helping.
But who is to judge disgusting? It's all about preferences and personalities and moments.

[a little one|0 likes] [|reply]

Diary added to your faves.

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