Bastard.

07/31/2011

Shit. Couldn't be more angry at Luke. He says he misses me but what he really misses is the 24/7 access to my ass. So it doesn't matter how inappropriate the setting is. Apparently all that matters is that he "loves me and wants me right now". Nevermind what I'm doing at the time, no, Luke's sex - always more urgent. Yep. Total disregard for what I'm doing or saying or thinking or feeling. I wouldn't be half so angry if he didn't make it impossible for me to be there... *sigh* I won't bother explaining. Just he can be a self-centered prick sometimes. I'm so worked up right now, too much caffeine. Just glad I don't have to see him for the rest of the night. He doesn't even understand that I'm pissed off at him. Fucken moron.

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Have you told him you're angry with him? How is he supposed to know, if you don't tell him?
It's hard, sometimes, for people to understand that slut doesn't mean nympho (or whatever the boy equivalent is). He loves you. He misses you, and he misses sex, AND he's going through an emotional nightmare and needs to vent it somewhere.
He knows that you're a slut. He knows you like being dominated and used. So he's trying to show you that he loves you and needs you by dominating and using you. Asking your permission is contrary to dominating and using you. But now you feel used, but not in that good Los Vegas way. And he's using you to vent, because you're safe. Because he trusts you. It's why we're always cruelest to the people we love best; they're the only people we know will put up with the worst of us.
Anyway. I'm not trying to talk you out of being angry. Be angry, if you feel violated. Even whores can get raped, afterall. Just, when you've cooled down enough to use non-profane words, talk to him about it. That's *supposed* to be what he's there for.