Oh, Aaron. How do you do it?
Aye? Do what?
That thing you do at least once a week, you know? Stay up all night keeping very busy and looking very productive only to actually have achieved nothing by the time you finally give up at 6:00AM?
I don't know, but boy do I hate it. It's like someone else takes over my body and starts pointless projects and then insists on trying to finish them -- because I never finish anything, but I really one day want to have finished something and be able to go, LOOK, I DIDN'T WASTE MY TIME, LOOK WHAT I DID WITH ALL THOSE HOURS, IT'S FINISHED NOW AND MY LIFE IS BETTER FOR IT! -- ... but, it would be a lot more useful to give up a lot earlier in the picture because it's never until several hours later that I realise what a stupid idea it was in the first place.
...You'll never get anything important done that way.
I know. But how do I know what's important and what's not, when everything seems so urgent and interesting and purposeful for an intense number of hours at a time?
You have to step back and look at the bigger picture. Stop getting distracted by the little details.
I know! I know I know I know. But when I start, I tell myself, "I swear, I'm NOT going to get side-tracked with some unimportant detail, I am DEFINITELY going to stay on task tonight, if I stay on task it should only take 15 minutes and then I'm done - ohhh I want to MAKE SOMETJHINGGGHIGNGNGNH!!" ...And then it all turns to shit.
You mean your brain tries to trick you into believing shit that you know is bullshit but you believe it anyway because you're gullible to your own -- wait, what?
Yeah. I'm really good at winning my inner arguments.
You're not winning this one!
Yes I am. Because I have ADHD and all this shit is so typically ADHD and I can't seem to escape it. Wait, do you think hypnotherapy would work?
Um, no.
Shit. I hate my brain.
Shit for brains!
Yep.
...You're getting ulsars.
Time to hit the sack then!
Don't forget your case worker is coming over at 10AM!
.... FUCK. I hate myself. She'll think I'm so pathetic. Can I cancel the appointment? Just to avoid the confrontation? The humiliation? The shame? The effort?
Uh, no. You did that last week.
I don't like this game anymore.
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