an empty frame.'s Diary
by an empty frame.

My friend Ed, he ain't so bad.

09/12/2010

"I'm hungry." I feel scared. Lonely. Lazy. Crazy. Sick. Guilty. Fat. Hate.
"I'm starving." I feel calm. Safe. In control. Relief. I can breathe again. In this moment.

You are falling backwards. Again. Stop this. You cannot dance between anorexia and recovery like this. Choose one or the other. Choose to die or choose to live. I don't want to die, but life is so so hard. And I feel so weak...

I could just shut everyone out, and stop feeling so guilty about doing the one thing that makes me feel ok. I've done it before. People forget you quicker and easier when you're still alive. I hate feeling obligated to recover, like if I don't eat properly today, I'll most certainly die tomorrow. Somehow I don't think so. Look at me. I don't look sick. You know when someone is on death's door. I'm not. Stop showering me with guilt and emotional blackmail. Aaaahhh...

previous entry: Luke's decision

next entry: Jerk!!

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hey sorry i was a piece of shit earlier on msn. well i was, but i was making food/looking after the puppy/and generally spacing out from a long day.

i wouldn't forget you. when you've gone away from the net before i've wondered about you and missed talking to you.

off topic, what kind of sex position were you in? lol.

[& skull.|0 likes] [|reply]

lol. It was like um... I was on my back, with my legs folded on my chest... folded isnt the right word... They werent crossed but like... Bent at the knee. So my knees were against my chest and my ankles were against my butt. And my butt was in the air. So like, i wasnt really on my back as i said i was more on my... Neck. lol. And luke stood over me with his dick in my ass. I wish i could explain it better but i felt really pro!! Lol. I couldnt move much but it was like i was luke's fuck hole and he was just using my ass to masturbate XD AWESOMEEEE!

[an empty frame.|0 likes] [|reply]

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