anorexia trigger warning
My keeper, anorexia. You keep me safe, and sane, and you protect me. You keep the world from damaging me. You keep pain a safe distance from me. I can depend on you. You are always there, even when I try to walk away from you. You wait, silently, patiently, for me to come home again, and wrap me in you like a security blanket, bound tight and safe and protected. They don't understand what you do for me. All they see is an untouchable boy and his unpenetratable fortress, you. You close all the windows and doors, you shut out all the noise, you don't take from me what you don't know I can give. Silencer. You are a padded room. I don't need to know what's outside. I'm not afraid in here. I know what is here. Certainty. Focus. Control. Silence. I have seen every corner. If I have not touched it, I have seen it and I am not afraid to go there. Nothing can take this away from me. This is the one thing that I will never lose. This is the one thing that is MINE. Without it, I'm nothing. It is everything. I want this. |
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