I want my relationship with Luke to move beyond Dom/sub and move to Master/slave. I want him to control everything. Decide everything.
In other news...
-/+ I haven't been eating very well. Well, I haven't eaten for three days. Except I did have half an apple yesterday. I'm stoopid. I'm wasting thousands of dollars.
- Luke and I fought about it (money) yesterday afternoon when he got back from work. It was a big screaming fight that even resulted in me slamming the door and him following me to the car and yelling at me. Shades of my relationship with Josh, only without having furniture thrown at me.
+ Then we fucked like crazy.
- Again, shades of Josh.
+ But this is the first actual fight we've ever had (I think?) and it's been resulting in some fucking amazing hardcore fucking. I have bruises on my neck just from being fucked so hard (with his hand at my throat). Mmm...
+++ Sub and I are talking again. Things are going a lot better. I even got him to promise to make an appointment with his GP and talk to her about his insomnia and his random bouts of uncontrollable crying. Hopefully she'll get the message that this is serious and refer him to a psychiatrist. If she gives him another "you're under a lot of stress" talk I'll have to drag him along to my own GP.
- He hasn't actually made the appointment yet. He said he would today. We've been in contact all day, and he has been in an amazingly good mood, so I haven't wanted to ruin it by bringing it up but I will bring it up when we talk later tonight.
- I have a really bad cold at the moment. I've blown my nose so much today I'm starting to blow out blood. Gotta love it when I start bleeding from the inside out. |