For several months now I have been feeling bored every now and again with my sex life. It seems to be becoming more and more frequent now. I will spend a fair amount of time searching for extreme, hardcore porn, just for new ideas for things to try, because nothing thrills me like it used to. It is like everything on the internet is the same thing over and over. Just cock and ass and mouth. In out in out. Cumshot, if I ever bother watching it for long enough to see that.
Then there's the sex I'm having with Luke. I will open the closet and look through all our sex toys, from the plainest dildo to our collection of fetish items, and I feel so uninspired. I can't be bothered with the kinky foreplay, and we end up just fucking. I love fucking him. Nothing turns me on more than those fucking big arms of his and his thick fucking cock. Then we cum and it's over and I'm back to being bored, idly fingering my ass if not just rolling over to sleep for the rest of the day.
Not even the thought of being fisted excites me anymore. Not even getting a nice full bladder and pissing in my pants! And that has been getting me going since I was 9, dammit. I'm still always wanking or fucking but nothing fucking thrills me anymore. I've been feeling so disgusted with myself, wondering if I've actually tried everything at only 25 years of age. Slut, freak, fucked up, ruined, overused and out of order prostitute.
Then it hit me. All of my other hobbies and interests have diminished too. NOTHING thrills me, not even art, not even movies, not books, not even whatever I used to enjoy a lot. I am depressed. I am flat. I am a stuck between channels on an untuned TV with the volume turned up to full. Snow and white noise. And I cant be bothered finding a better channel, improving my reception or even pressing the off button.
And now I am falling asleep. |
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