Ladies, gents, and those who defy gender binaries, I hereby announce... on behalf of my better self... The retirement of my massive fourteen inches (ok halve that and you might be getting closer to accurate). I... appear to have injured my penis... And I'm a bit baffled and worried so I'm just... going to LEAVE IT ALONE.
Give it some space, you know? Some time to recover. Maybe drop off some books to read, some chocolate and flowers, a Get Well Soon! card... Time heals all wounds, and laughter is the best medicine, so HA HA HA! Ow... |