This is not a porno post

01/19/2010

It's been, well, a fair few days (five? More?) since Luke and I have had sex. For the first time in my life my libido has been so low as to turn down Luke, mid-blow job. Utterly bizarre, no? I've never felt the opposite of horny before. However, I'd decided it was probably temporary and not to dwell on it. This afternoon, finally, we did it.

The heat, might I add, has been awful, and the humidity unbearable. He'd been dropping iceblocks down my t-shirt since we got home, which was nice for cooling me down so I didn't complain. Then he kissed me, a long kiss, after which I said "it's too hot for sex." He suggested we go to our bedroom upstairs and chill out under the air-con. Obvious, right? But I was feeling lazy and hanging out on the bed under the air con sounded quite lovely. So I went up and he followed me there after grabbing a beer for himself and water for me. We lazed on the bed, talking about what I did at the clinic today and he asked if I'd be up for some fish and steamed veg for dinner. I told him I'd have a little bit of each but I'd like to eat it away from Sarah so I don't feel pressured or self concious. He said that a shy Aaron was an adorable Aaron and started kissing my neck. I didn't feel like objecting just yet and knew that Luke would stop as soon as I asked him to so I kind of just lay there, letting him lick and suck on my neck, while daydreaming about a vampire gay erotic novel I'd read a couple of months ago.

 When he started to pull my shirt up, I pulled it down again and pouted -- too lazy to even say "no". So he climbed over me and played with my nipples through my t-shirt. "Can I do this?" he asked, cautiously. I didn't see why not and shrugged and nodded. Mine aren't terribly sensitive anyway, although I find them incredibly sexy on others. This thought made me want to touch Luke's,  and I crept one hand up his shirt. It felt like such a long time since I'd touched his bare skin and my god, I just loved it. Really warm, soft flesh. I feel the small, raised moles on his torso under the palm of my hand. My fingers strum the rolls of skin that appear over his belly when he bends over to kiss my lips. I am frowning, lifting his shirt higher to examine these "rolls", knowin that had they been on me, I would hate them, but on him, I love them. He watches me and laughs, and when he straightens up the rolls disapear, so I drop my hand because I can't be bothered doing anything else. Then he scoots back a few inches from where he'd been straddling my groin and begins unbuttoning my jeans. I tell him that I don't want to have sex, and apologise. He laughs and tells me not to apologise and buttons me up again. For a moment he's thinking, then pipes up, "should I do a strip show for you?!" which has me laughing now too, really hard. It's the first time I've laughed in days and feels great. I agree to this but warn him it won't turn me on. He says, "that's ok baby, no pressure," and gets up off the bed. He "umm"s and "uhh"s a bit before admitting he doesn't know how to strip. I told him to just do it like I do, and he says, "but you're sexy and I'm just goofy." which makes me smile. A lot. I say "I love you," he says he loves me too, so I tell him to come over here and make love to me. 

So fucking lucky to have this man in my life.