I want to tell you about this date Luke and I went on ...last night or the night before? I can't remember, days just fall into each other for me. I forget days at a time, but... I am pretty sure it was Thursday night and that I just can't remember Friday night. So, I want to tell you about this guy who came over on Thursday evening, we'll say, for drinks and snacks. My mind and heart is all over the place, I don't know where to begin and I'm so worried that if I write it down, put my thoughts in concrete, everything will fall apart and I'll be disappointed. I don't know where things are going yet and I don't want to imagine they're going anywhere until I know for sure...
If you read my bloopdiary entry entitled More Adventures of a Wandering Penis, which people on my OD haven't (linked to on my entry "it's almost an entry..."), and people on my BD have, you would have read about the guy I went home with from the pub, about how we had hours of brilliant conversation and I had to go home with him once the pub closed just to talk more, he interested me so, and he in turn was very interested in the "lifestyle" that Luke and I are living (polyamorous, Dominant/submissive). I went home with him, we talked more, drank more, and had some pretty amazing vanilla sex. Why I feel the need to point out that it was vanilla sex I don't know, but for some reason it's important to me.
Luke's been nagging me to invite him over so that he can meet him. We'll call him "guy" but that's not his name. Luke was intrigued by the interest that guy showed in our relationship. I avoided it for a couple of weeks but finally gave in on Thursday and guy said he was free that night if we wanted to hang out then. Sure, I said, and invited him over our house for a few beers. So that was arranged, and my mind started to race with thoughts of, hm he seemed interested in BDSM, perhaps we can teach him, wink wink... But, like I said, I was trying not to get my expectations up so as to avoid disappointment...
He seemed shy and nervous when he showed up. Luke does nothing to make people feel comfortable when it's obvious that they're intimidated by him. It's something that turns me the fuck on because I can feel and see the power he has over others and it makes me feel so special that I have a place in this man's heart, and more than that, that I know his weaknesses. Muahaha... But, as I was saying, I could see that guy was struggling to relax in this bizarre situation he'd been thrown into. I was trying to be sweet and friendly, but then Luke would order me about and I'd instantly go into submissive mode and shrink before him. I'm surprised I was able to keep myself from going into sub space, I was so under the spell of his power that night... Luke finds situations like this highly amusing. When he sees that I am struggling with my submission to him in my head. When I want to be a man, and he turns me into a slave just with his words. God, I worship him!!! It makes me worship him even more that he can do this to me!
Luke led most of the conversation to begin with and eventually guy loosened up and we ended up having quite an indepth conversation. We had the most random things in common!! Like, guy and Luke both enjoy their football, which makes me want to vomit everywhere, so they talked passionately about that for a while while I zoned out. They have also both worked in the mines before!!! Which is just freakish!! I wonder how many gay men there ARE working in the mines?! They are probably the only two who have ever been brave (or stupid) enough to do it. lol. And then guy and I discovered that we both have the same favourite artists! That's so strange, that we be into the same type of art... Well, not so strange, I suppose. But it is rare to find a guy who knows anything about art anyway. We talked about films, we all enjoy each other's top 5 but they're not the same. We talked about history, and discovered that guy and I are share the same interest in the industrial revolution and Russia between the wars, which is AWESOME. And I recommended some books for him to read, which he seemed excited about. Luke and I have read a lot of the same books (well, we share the same bookshelf now!) so we could talk about books for some time.
I was really enjoying myself because conversations like that are rarely shared between Luke and me and guy seemed to be enjoying the conversation as well. It's nice to be able to talk about things like that without feeling like a right idiot. Sometimes people can be snobs about things like art and history and I don't feel like I know enough about either of them (but I probably do, to be honest) to be able to talk confidently about them. Guy doesn't seem to be like that. In fact, I was surprised to find that he knew anything about it at all. He just doesn't seem like the typical art fag! Not like me, I am so obviously an art fag... lol. Actually, no, I think I just come across as a fucking airhead most of the time.
Remarkably our conversation flowed from that into talks about polyamoury. Luke enquired as to what guy's feelings were about it, and would he be interested in possibly being involved in a triad-type relationship with us. Guy confidently answered "yes" to that, which had Luke grinning from ear to ear. He went home soon after that and I was junping on the couch in excitement and Luke himself was so excited, he didn't even yell at me for jumping on the couches. In fact, he gave me a high-five for finding guy in the first place. Then he fucked me silly!!
Tonight, Luke is on his own date with him. I really hope it goes well. It's gone so well so far, that I almost feel like some huge deal breaker is bound to come up soon. When things go this well I think that surely it must be a mistake? When he started talking about Russia I was like WHAT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I LOVE RUSSIA TOO!!!!!!! HFIOSHGFJFGSPXBC! |
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