[NB I wrote this entry below last night, so it's actually older than my previous entry, which I wrote today, but still current.]
Ffffuuuuucccckkkkk.  Young emailed me. He sounded a bit distraught. Distraut? Can't spell. Anyway. He seems depressed (no surprise there but anyway) and was on the train crying, trying to call me, but had no money on his phone. He says he can't do this with me or without me, etc, and has no one to confide in, etc. Poor kid. But blah. So ive emailed him back asking him if he's ok. No reply. Typical. And yet I'm worried, so of course I've checked my email a thousand times.
Giovanni seems in higher spirits today. Luke came over after work and we were fooling around in the bedroom (you know what I mean lol) but I could hear Gabriel and Giovanni playing in the liviing room and it put me off, and Luke was like, 'er, this is awkward' and I was like 'yeah' so he went back to his dad's (because they planned dinner with his sister's family tonight, hence why we couldnt just wait til Gabriel had gone to bed). It sucks. I wanted to fuck. It's been days. i don't want him to resent that Giovanni and Gabriel are staying here but I don't want Giovanni to be alone, especially because Gabriel is on school holidays now so Jeeves needs exra help with him. i still have no idea if his dad is days or weeks or months away from dying and it's scary I have no idea how Giovanni will react. He doesn.t talk about it. He still has his boyfriend too and he doesn't talk about him either. In fact the only fucken thing he talks about is Gabriel.
Awww Luke just txtd me saying he wishes I was there and he misses me. Now I feel bad for declining the dinner invite  oh well.
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