NoJoMo #9-2 - Cute Aggression

11/09/2020

So I'm going to talk about something on here that is a bit difficult for me to come to terms with. I have a severe case of "cute aggression" when it comes to Charlie. I know this sounds like some laughable non-issue when out of context, but my urge to pinch the kid is causing some problems in my marriage (in terms of being unable to adequately communicate my problem), and leading to some issues where I've been legitimately afraid to hurt him. Google is telling me almost nothing about it, except "lol you ever want to squeeze a kitten? That's called cute aggression," instead of treating it like a serious inquiry by new parents who, y'know, don't want to hurt their babies.

When he does things like suck on his hands, or really anything cute, I get really physically uncomfortable with really gnarly urges to pinch or bite him. I don't actually do it obviously, except really, really softly, but I end up getting really, really uncomfortable holding him when he's doing things sometimes. I also get weird urges to mess with his tongue when he cries.

I tried to tell Bianca about it, but I don't think she's taking me too seriously. She'll say, "you better not be hurting Charlie, I'll beat your ass," like it's a joke.

Anyway, that's my entry for today. Any advice from parents would be A+.