it's just the same shit different day. I'm consumed with trying to find a job and a date and no one, not even myself wants to hear about it anymore. last night someone made me realize it. The problem is, a job and a lady are not going to just be handed to me while I sit at home and not look. I spend about 3-6 hours day every day on these things and when someone asks me what's up? I usually bring up one of these topics or both. What else am I going to say?
Baseball is over too so it's not like I can drown myself for 3-6 hours a day in that. . Some reason I can't get into basketball this year. Football, I listen to but it's mostly just a day a week, I don't "watch" TV or movies and those are topics of conversations for lots of people and so I'm left out of those conversations. I got nothing to add.
People are telling me to look for jobs outside of my degree and suggest jobs that wouldn't make sense for me to do but yet, so many counseling companies require a drivers license so I guess I won't ever find a job in this field. Customer service, bagboy, 911 dispatch, crisis hotline, ... "you are being too picky" "you are being stubborn" "just apply to every job. Sure, why not?"
My parents are going to foxwoods casino for a minny get away, from Monday-Wednesday, I haven't told my mom yet but I don't feel like going. I don't feel like throwing away $200 I got better things I could do with that money. I use to think I would win but it's been a long while since I've won at a casino. So it's not fun for me anymore. Plus my parents are going to the pool and the spa during the day and I would be up in the hotel room by myself. not fun.
I went over John's house last night for dinner. His mom watches the kids on Thursdays at his house so she had made spaghetti sauce and John invited me over. So Holden was sitting next to me on his Ipad playing a game. John was sitting next to him, texting with a woman...or 3 and yelling at Grace to pick up her toys while John's mom was cooking dinner and Frozen was on the TV. Not a movie I want to watch for the 51 time. mix emotions tied to that movie now. We had dinner and Grace was more of a winy brat. It was the first time I witness John give her a time out...that's how bad she got. Holden made eating into a race. "I'm going to finish first" John said he's on his second plate already. "oh, wellll, I think uncle dolphin is going to finish last." John's mom "I gave him a lot." "well, he's still going to finish last" Not fun. I did get to talk to Lisa twice on the phone. Somehow we can talk about anything and it's interesting. She was talking about how someone gave her a 2 dollar bill. She said she hasn’t seen one in years. I asked what the year was she said 1976 I said too bad it wasn’t 78, you should try to find a 1978 $2 bill. ... but it was Lisa who brought it up, not me.
John was also yelling at his mom about stupid stuff. It's not fun. I wasn’t brought up in a house of constant yelling so it bothers me. OH and empty threats. Consistent empty threats drive me nuts.
*hmm I think that's everything that's in my head-on my mind, let me go reread what I just wrote*
Hmm I think so because I wrote about work and money last time and how I'm concerned for my future.
I got nothing to do. Nowhere to go. No one to see today. What shall I do? hmm maybe I'll go look for a job and a date?
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