been thinking of this... more bitching!

04/30/2011

So this evening, as I am having a cup of tea with my mom, she was telling me about her night.
She and one of her friends go out Friday nights to random restaurants then to a bar to hear bands.

She was telling me about the bar maid. She said that she was wearing a Red Sox shirt and a redsox hat. She told my mom how she is a die hard fan, always believes in them, even when they started 0-6. My mom goes, you would really like her. She's a talker.



I am sure this is true for everyone.
But since this is my diary, I get to bitch about it.

A lot of females I learn about-meet-read about (in the case of dating sites) or even here, probably a lot of you fabulous women who are reading this...

I find at least one thing that I like about "you"
I think we all have this ideal person, even if we never meet them, they probably don't even exist, but we still dream for the day when we meet them or something close to it.

I could easily describe my "ideal" lady.
Heck, for most of you who have been reading me for a while, you can probably do a good job of describing her too.

But it is frustrating to me.

First there was Lisa. Jewish, outgoing, pretty, liked Bon jovi and simular music, enjoys Disney movies and although didnt care much for sports, she would go to a sporting event just to go and she was smart.

My senior year of high school there was this lady who was in 4 of my 6 classes. Her name was Chrissy. Beautiful, talkative and we helped each other out on many assignments. On my birthday, she had baked for me this double layered strawberry cake that was 24-18 inches. I was in shock to say the least. Here is a lady who took her time, money and cares to make me this strawberry cake and bring it into school. Her b day is a week after mine, I bought her a $25 gift card to the mall in our town. If it wasnt so loud at my sr. prom, I would have went over and asked her to dance but I didnt know where she was and Lisa, (my best friend's sister) didnt go to the school so didnt know her at all, I never got the chance. However, on graduation day, she was one of a few people who signed my year book.

When I got to college, there was Jill, pretty, the same majors and minors, caring, simular music and although didnt care for sports, would go to sporting events just to go.

Then there was Dominique, who lived in Arizona. She was the first lady I had interest in from the net.
She was BEAUTIFUL and had a cute voice. She was playful. I think the biggest thing with her, now that I look back, she gave me attention and she cared about me. She felt that she could tell me anything. Even things I really didnt want to know... I listened to anyways.

Jennifer, my "red sox buddy". She lived in Gamesville fl, the home of my favorite College sport's team, the Gators. She loved Boston and after she graduated from college, she was planning on moving up to Boston and go to Law school here. She didnt have a cute voice, it was plane, but plane is what she was. Well, a tomboy at heart. We even had plans to go to a baseball game and meet. I tried to call her when I got to the park and she never answered the phone. I tried again a few days later, and well, that was the end of it.

Then there was Karen. We still keep in touch, but she found the man she'll prob spend the rest of her life with. She is a lot younger than me but age never bothered her. She felt that she could tell me anything and anything she did tell me. She loves my poetry. She is smart, artistic, and way back when she was in HS, she made a meddle pendant? I guess, in her meddle shop class. One one side, she wrote my name in braille (which she looked up on her own) and on the other side, she made it feel like a baseball, with the stitches that I could feel. I will never forget the first time she called me either. I could only describe her voice as an angel's voice.

And Kimberly. oh Kimberly. She was an older lady, older by 6 years, she was a huge detroit tigers fan. She wrote poetry, but a dif style than I, and she had a nice voice. I help her through some very dificult times, including the passing of her mother. We had plans for me to fly out to see her, but she got her dates mixed up, and had a family reunion that weekend. She was introduced to a friend of a cousin, and they would eventually get married.

I guess there was a few coworkers who I had minny crushes on too.

And I dont want to embarrass any current readers of mine, but I am sure there are parts of a few of you, some more parts than others, that make me wish that you would think of me in more than just a friend way.

It is dificult for me and as I get older, I think about ... what if I never find "her"? I dont want to be aloan for the rest of my life. I have so much love to give, and I hope that even if she doesn't care for sports, even if she doesnt care for Bon Jovi music, even if she is not Jewish, even if she is much older or much younger, even if she is not the most beautifulist woman in the world, even if... ..., I hope someday, I find her and when I do, you know that she will be treated like the princess she is...in my heart.