An FB conversation between myself and the wife of a friend of my best friend John.
This, along with a phone call from a friend who called me about one thing and ended up telling me the latest of her issues with her x and her children and over-due bills…
These things made me feel like I matter. Like people care about me.
Hmmm maybe this is my reminder from some higher-power that hey, Jonathan, don’t you dare think of a different profession. Counseling is where you belong. You just need to find the right place.
ME: I saw, and liked, your post about making changes. I know I don't know you well at all, but the wheels started turning last night and I thought about it more today, I need to make some major changes in my life. I pretty much have been stuck for 5 years. I just wish I had someone to guide me, mentor me or just point me in some direction. "I'm looking at the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways" (MJ)
HER: I'd be happy to help you with that. Last night I Made the decision that I'm going to start eating healthier, get into better shape, and stop worrying about stuff (I'm a bit of an anxious person). So today, I've signed up for yoga classes, started looking for NH teaching jobs, and bought some healthier food. Little steps.
If you ever want to talk or vent, you can message me on here, or call my cell. ***.***.****
ME: first...CONGRATS! on taking those steps. secondly: awww thanks, I did save your number. ...just in case. I have always felt that when it comes to my career choice, that no one ever told me "you cant do that" which is great...until I run into the problem that I cant do. First I wanted to be a lawyer and got my undergrad degree in criminal justice. However, what no one told me till I got an internship my last semester and I was talking to a lawyer in the court house, she told me that 90% of her time is spent on paperwork. It was at that time I thought, if 90% of her time is spnt on paper work, the time I get that into a form I could work with, it would be 110% of my time and I wanted a life outside of work. So then I moved on and tried my hands at counseling. I ws the friend that everyone went to growing up and I loved psychology so why not? I am a mental health counselor now. doubt you know that about me. A lot of counseling companies require you to either drive or be able to hand out meds. I cant do either of those so I have been having a real hard time finding employment despite all my degrees and experience. No one in my company, and I work for a very large company, has ever given me the guidance I needed or bent over backwards for me as far as making the exception in my case to hire me full time even though I don't have a drivers license. So...maybe counseling is not my calling and I just need to figure out what is.
HER: I didn't know you were a counselor. Maybe you could help me out with my anxiety. (not many people know that about me, except for my family and good friends, I'm kind of embarrassed about that).
Have you considered being a guidance counselor st a high school or college? One of my friends is a guidance counselor at Lowell High School. She also has a degree in psychology. Most of her work involves counseling students on issues anywhere from class selection, to problems at home, bullying, etc. She loves it, and her "paperwork" is all computer based. Just a thought.
I'm actually looking to get out of teaching because I'm not getting the same enjoyment out of it. It's all standardized and focused on test scores. So I'm also trying to figure out my calling. Being grownups sucks. Hahaha
ME: Hello again: I have thought of being an hs counselor, my sister actually is, but you need a specific degree for that plus what drew me away from that is you need to pass the teacher's exam in MA. there is no way I would pass that lol. I did horrible in the SAT's never mind a teacher's exam. I have applied to some colleges but never heard back from them or they are looking for a licensed mental health counselor which although I have all the degrees I don't have the clinicle supervision of 3380 hours needed... I don't even have a single hour towards it because my company work with fulltime staff and interns and I'm on the bottom of the pole.
I have a BS in criminal justice from Salem state. A M.ed in mental health counseling and a CAGS (certificate advance graduate study's) in mental health counseling, both from Cambridge college. I have worked with teens in a middle school, families in a strengthening family program, worked at a day program for adults with severe mental illness for 4 years and the last 5 years working at a group home with the same population.
Anxiety, depending on what the specific anxiety is, can either be overcomed or in most cases, manageable where it is still there but it's in the background instead of the forefront.
Identify the anxiety. Come up with different ways you may be able to over come it. Take baby steps. Know that it's ok that during this process that you can take a step back or stand still for a while till you are able ready-willing-able to take that next step. Having a support team helps. Letting people who are close to you know you are going to try to overcome your anxiety and ask for their support and patience.
And the best place to start as far as the second step, MUSIC! Music usually relaxes people or at the least, takes their mind off of any anxiety. Like I wrote in a comment, I am petrified of needles of any type but thanks to Bon jovi (obsessed fan here) the last few times I had to get a shot or have blood work, I did not passout.
HER: Wow, you are quite am accomplished and well educated guy!! Good for you. You should be proud of yourself!!
Thank you for the advice about dealing with anxiety. I've gone to therapy and Pat is very patient and supportive if me. I've tried self help books and takes, but never thought of music! Thanks for the tip. (PS, I'm also a big bon jovi fan!) I'll def turn to some of my favorite sings next time I'm feeling anxious.
I can see why so many of your friends go to you for advice-you're a very helpful and sweet guy!!
We need to make Kowloon's happen! Martinis for us, cigars for John, and beer for Pat!
I'm glad we're getting to know reach other better! Happy to balk you my friend!!
HER: Write, lots of typos in there! My apologies.
The last part should have said, happy to call you my friend.
I've got a really bad head cold. Medicine must be making me loopy! LOL
ME: funny...I have a cold too lol
Accomplished??? me??? naaah.
One of my thesis reports, was on teacher's knowledge of assistive technology in inclusion classrooms.
My other one will shock you...Parental rage in youth sports...I know, me? sports? shocking lol
I was actually thinking about, but didn't want to be the one to inniciate it but I was thinking we could go to wild buffalo wings for half of a patriots game and then the second the other half at either my house if we go to the one in Saugus or your place if we go to the one in NH. I know John isn't football fan but as long as there's company, he'll watch it. Plus he doesn't have the kids on Sunday so that would give him no excuse not to lol. so maybe sometime in November we can make this happen.
and when I say I'm an obsessed Bon Jovi fan, I mean, I have seen them in concert 22 times in 6 dif states and according to my computer, I have 856 songs of theirs.
I'm happy to balk you my friend too! hehe
HER: LOL!
ME: back to bug you with one more tip....then I'll let you be lol. Although, if you already went to counseling, these are prob things you know-have-tried.
make two lists, one being of your simptoms, so you can learn them and recognize them so when they start to come on, you can be prepared and maybe fight them off. and two, make a list of things you enjoy that when you do feel these simptoms coming on, you can relax your body-mind with. I'm being general here, but remember these simptoms could come when you are in your car or out shopping etc or at work. They don't conveniently come on when you are just sitting at home. Your list can be anything from reading-writing, listening to music or watching tv, to painting your nails or going for a walk and be as specific as possible so you are not thinking hmm what book should I read? what music should I listen to? it's not the time to stress yourself any more, you want to relax your body-mind. So for me, It's Bon Jovi music,, it's writing a poem. It's putting on a baseball game.
okok, I'm taking off my counseling hat for now lol
HER: You're not bugging me at all! And the counselor I saw didn't Benton any of those things. She told me once to make a list of things that stress me out and cause anxiety before I went to bed each night. However, that only caused more anxiety and sleepless nights! Your suggestions are so much more positive, and I can see myself doing those things! Thanks, Jonathan! You might be the person that helps me conquer my anxiety!!
...and LOL at the counseling hat!
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