Chanukah starts tonight so I figured I would enlighten all my fellow bloopers.
Chanukah, the Jewish festival of rededication, also known as the festival of lights, is an eight day festival beginning on the 25th day of the Jewish month of Kislev.
The story of Chanukah begins in the reign of Alexander the Great. Alexander conquered Syria, Egypt and Palestine, but allowed the lands under his control to continue observing their own religions and retain a certain degree of autonomy. Under this relatively benevolent rule, many Jews assimilated much of Hellenistic culture, adopting the language, the customs and the dress of the Greeks, in much the same way that Jews in America today blend into the secular American society.
More than a century later, a successor of Alexander, Antiochus IV was in control of the region. He began to oppress the Jews severely, placing a Hellenistic priest in the temple massacring Jews, prohibiting the practice of the Jewish religion, and desecrating the Temple by requiring the sacrifice of pigs (a non-Kosher animal) on the altar. Two groups opposed Antiochus: a basically nationalistic group led by Mattathias the Hasmonean and his son Judah Maccabee, and a religious traditionalist group known as the Chasidim, the forerunners of the Pharisees. They joined forces in a revolt against both the assimilation of the Hellenistic Jews and oppression by the Seleucid Greek government. The revolution succeeded and the Temple was rededicated.
According to tradition as recorded in the Talmud, at the time of the rededication, there was very little oil left that had not been defiled by the Greeks. Oil was needed for the menorah (candelabrum) in the Temple, which was supposed to burn throughout the night every night. There was only enough oil to burn for one day, yet miraculously, it burned for eight days, the time needed to prepare a fresh supply of oil for the menorah. An eight day festival was declared to commemorate this miracle. Note that the holiday commemorates the miracle of the oil, not the military victory: Jews do not glorify war.
TRADITION
The only religious observance related to the holiday is the lighting of candles. The candles are arranged in a candelabrum called a menorah (or sometimes called a chanukkiah) that holds nine candles: one for each night, plus a shammus (servant) at a different height. On the first night, one candle is placed at the far right. The shammus candle is lit and three blessings are recited.
After reciting the blessings, the first candle is then lit using the shammus candle, and the shammus candle is placed in its holder.
Each night, another candle is added from right to left. Candles are lit from left to right (because you pay honor to the newer thing first). On the eighth night, all nine candles (the 8 Chanukkah candles and the shammus) are lit.
1. general blessing over candles
2. A blessing thanking G-D for performing miricles for our ancestors at this time.
3. A general blessing for allowing us to reach this time of year.
It is traditional to eat fried foods on Chanukkah because of the significance of oil to the holiday.
this usually includes latkes (pronounced "lot-kuhs" or "lot-keys" it’s a potato pancake.
Gift-giving is not a traditional part of the holiday, but has been added in places where Jews have a lot of contact with Christians, as a way of dealing with our children's jealousy of their Christian friends. It is extremely unusual for Jews to give Chanukkah gifts to anyone other than their own young children. The only traditional gift of the holiday is "gelt," small amounts of money.
Another tradition of the holiday is playing dreidel, a gambling game played with a square top. Most people play for matchsticks, pennies, M&Ms or chocolate coins. The traditional explanation of this game is that during the time of Antiochus' oppression, those who wanted to study Torah, (an illegal activity) would conceal their activity by playing gambling games with a top (a common and legal activity) whenever an official or inspector was within sight.
A dreidel is marked with four Hebrew letters. Nun, Gimel, Hei and Shin. These letters stand for the Hebrew phrase "Nes Gadol Hayah Sham", a great miracle happened there, referring to the miracle of the oil.
SONG
Chanukkah, Oh Chanukkah
Come light the menorah
Let's have a party
We'll all dance the hora
Gather round the table, we'll have a treat
Shiny tops to play with, latkes to eat
And while we are playing
The candles are burning low
One for each night, they shed a sweet light
To remind us of days long ago Chanukkah, O Chanukkah
A yontev a sheyner
A lustiger a freylicher
Nito noch azoyner
Ale nacht in dreydl shpiln mir
Zudigheyse latkes esn mir
Geshvinder tsindt kinder
Di dininke lichtelech on
Zogt "al ha-nisim," loybt G-t far di nisim
Un kumt gicher tantsn in kon
INGREDIANTS for Latkes
• 4 medium potatoes
• 1 medium onion
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup matzah meal (flour or bread crumbs can be substituted)
• 1 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. each salt and black pepper (more or less to taste)
• vegetable oil
DIRECTIONS
Shred the potatoes and onion into a large bowl. Press out all excess liquid.(if using a food processor, use the chopping blade for 2 or 3 seconds after pressing out liquid to avoid stringy fly-aways). Add eggs and mix well. Add matzah meal gradually while mixing until the batter is doughy, not too dry. (you may not need the whole amount, depending on how well you drained the veggies). Add the baking powder, salt and pepper and mix well. Don't worry if the batter turns a little orange; that will go away when it fries.
Heat about 1/2 inch of oil to medium-high heat. Form the batter into thin patties about the size of your palm. Fry batter in oil. Be patient: this takes time, and too much flipping will burn the outside without cooking the inside. Flip when the bottom is golden brown.
Place finished latkes on paper towels to drain. Eat hot with sour cream or applesauce.
Intro: this is a song, that uh, there's a lot of xmas songs out there, but not
Too many about hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish
Kids who don't get to hear any hanukkah songs--here we go...
Put on your yalmulka, here comes hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate hanukkah,
Hanukkah is the festival of lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.
When you feel like the only kid in town without a x-mas tree, heres a list of
People who are jewish, just like you and me:
David lee roth lights the menorrah,
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the karnickey deli,
Bowzer from sha-na-na, and arthur fonzerrelli.
Paul newmans half jewish; goldie hawns half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin' jew! [esus]
You don't need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
Cause you can spin the dreidl with captain kirk and mr. spock--both jewish!
[esus]
Put on your yalmulka, it's time for hanukkah,
The owner of the seattle super sonic-ahs celebrates hanukkah.
O.j. simpson-- not a jew!
But guess who is...hall of famer¡ºrod carew--(he converted!)
We got ann landers and her sister dear abby,
Harrison fords a quarter jewish--not too shabby!
Some people think that ebeneezer scrooge is,
Well, he's not, but guess who is:all three stooges. [esus]
So many jews are in show biz--
Tom cruise isn¹t, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [esus]
Tell your friend veronica, it's time you celebrate hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely hanukkah.
So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah¡¬¡¬. happy hanukka!
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I can't wait to make my latkes.