(Sorry, not even going to proof read it-spell check I wrote what I needed to and don't want to re-read it)
Just so this doesn't get lost in everything I wrote below, I saw my lawyer yesterday and the lawyer who is representing the company. In short, there is a 50-50 chance the cival trial will go to court but if it does, there is a very good chance I will be called to testify. They asked me how I found out about the defendance's diagnosis. (Stephanie told me) where did she get her info from. (I didn't know. but she didn't read it to me, it was just in passing conversation) and that was pretty much it. 5 min conversation about that. I'm ok with this all now. I went through it once so I know what to expect IF I'm called.
I think I know what I am going to do, but this sunday is her b day. I have not heard from her in 2 months and 3 days. I want to either send her a text message, an email or a voice message, just saying happy birthday... or maybe more. I'm sure everyone thinks I should not do anything but I don't know if I can do that. She'll be on my mind a lot that day.
On Thursday I had trainings. One of the trainings I attended the instructer was a former co-worker of mine who I had a crush on. eerily simularally, we became really good friends and I took her to a concert, a baseball game, invited her over for Passoverr seder one year and she invited e out with her friends a few times and she even made me dinner one night and then... I don't know what happened. She still works for my company and I would run into her in passing from time to time with a HI and we'll have to get together soon, but it never did.
So when I heard her voice say "hey Jon, how's it going?" (that was the first thing she said when entering this room filled with people.) I replied back "Hey stranger. it's been a while" and as soon as I heard her voice, all the feelings I had for her, all came rushing back into my body and there is not a thing I could do about it and to make matters even worse, we had the same connection as Karen and I had and she is outgoing, a cute voice, thin and long hair, just like Karen. so as I'm sitting in this room listening to her go on about mandated reporting, I had a lot of negative-jealous-I don't know how to explain, feelings. We had parted with the same thing we always do, a bye with a promise of getting together sometime.
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So most everyone here is also on fb with me, and so you know that I did this number thing where I listed a bunch of stadiums and people I went to the games with. I had called my college roommate to see if he remembered who went to us to a game and he remembered a bunch of games we attended our freshman and sofemore year. One was with my floor in the dorm and he reminded us that my female RA (I lived on a co-ed floor my sofemore year) Juliet, went with us and he reminded me that I had feelings for her too...she was similar to (ok, so I'm attracted to thin women with long hair and who are outgoing, tell me something I don't know lol)... and he said I should stalk her on FB. I told him no. I have a dirty secret about her that I'll take to my grave
So what is up with me directly or indirectly coming back into contact with these females I had crushes-feelings for? not to mention my Lisa, (not tx lisa) who I told you my mom saw her a few weeks ago. I have not heard from her in 12 years and actually, same with her as with Karen and Megan. Just one day you stop talking and that's the end of it
OH, and Jill O'niell. My buddy reminded me about her because we went to a game with her too. I had a little crush on her in college. Every year I call her on her birthday. She never answers but I still leave a message. Jill and I were pretty close, she invited me to some of her family gatherings. She was pregnant our sr year and I kept pushing her to graduate. She graduated the following year. soon after, I didn't hear from her. and yes, she had the same type of body-personality. hmmm maybe I should just go for a dif type-personality? lol
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No no no no no no noooooo!!