My first new years celebration with my cousin Hayley

09/23/2009

My fun and religious weekend started with my uncle Joe and my lovely New Jersey cousin Hayley (Hayley whom I only first met 6 or so weeks ago) arriving 2 hours later than expected. (they had to stop at Dunks 3 times, Joe had to have an especially long lunch to charge up both his computer and phone because he was working in the car, plus they got lost) arriving at my house about 4pm. My mom was in the middle of finishing up the preparations for the Rosh Hashanah feast. Just after Hayley gave me a hug and than my mom, we were talking about how Joe ruined the surprise of her coming (we were going to surprise the rest of the family by having Hayley here from New Jersey but Joe blew it with that stupid facebook.) So Hayley had her own surprise. She took my hand and put my fingers on the back of her fingers…. A RING! Her boyfriend of 4 years finally proposed to her. Anthony, who could not make it because he had to work, had put the ring on one of their cat’s collars and put the cat on Hayley to wake her up. Anthony put cat treats on Hayley to get the cat to walk around to wake her up. He was leaning over and when she woke, she saw the cat, the ring and Anthony leaning over her, saying “will you marry me?” ) Hayley insists on helping my mom in the kitchen and I hung around for a little bit but went back down stairs to my room. Hayley came pretty soon after. We were chatting a bit before others started arriving. My cousin Heidi, her 10 year old son Jailen and her mother (my aunt) Sarah. A few friends of the family from the temple were there too, Bobbie and her 40 something year old son Dana and another friend from our temple, Dina. My grand parents were there along with my older bro Robert and eventually my sister Amanda, who was at a wedding rehearsal of a friend of hers but did not go for dinner. In all, there was 15 of us at our dining room table. My twin and his wife were in NY, extending her birthday with seeing a play and going to a elegant, classy French Restaurant and stopping at a casino on the way home.

When Hayley and I went up stairs, my grand parents were already there. Hayley went over to my grand father first and introduced herself. I walked over to greet my par and he says “that’s a lovely friend you have there” I told him that she is my cousin from New Jersey. I let Hayley explain the connection. It took a few times of me saying her name slowly for him to finally get it. So, after all the “hellos” and waiting for my sister to finally get in, we sat down for our Rosh Hashanah dinner. I warned Hayley that I hope she brought her apatite, we’re having a 5 course meal. First we said the blessing over the whine, apple, the honey and the bread. My mom already had pickies out in the living room when we were all waiting for everyone, we moved on to the soup then salad before having our first break, (or in my family, check on Red Sox game) Everyone returned for the main meal, there was sweet and sour meatballs (that was very good) Kugel, brisket and stuff cabbage. There was a baked potato, string beans and that’s all I can think of that my mom cooked. When we were all full and uncle Joe and cousin Heidi was helping my mom clear the table, it was our second Red Sox break of the evening. We all gathered back in the dining room for dessert. Yum. My mom made straddle, Heidi made an apple pie, someone had brought a chocolate and raspberry cake, and there was also an apple spice cake someone made and Bobbie’s date and nut bread. (always a winner). There was some small talk through out the entire meal of our close friend Fran’s passing who I wrote about a few weeks ago. It was most laughter over her love for whine and a lemon lus, that uncle Joe called lemon lush. We all laughed over that. The Red Sox game had ended by now and my Red Sox had won so I chose to stay up stairs and chatting. Plus I wanted to be with my cousin Hayley as much as I could, wasn’t sure the next time I’d get to see her again. Slowly people were departing as it was closing in to the 11 O’clock hour. I was saying my byes “Lashana tovah and I’ll see you tomorrow night”. I came down to my room and put on XM 9, the 90’s channel and just checked the baseball scores. Hayley came in and we talked, and talked and talked, She told me about her side of the family, she told me how much she loved the Harry Potter books and movies and told me a bit about it. Hmm ok, a lot about it. She had brought a bunch of CDs, and I was trying to copy some of them into my computer but it wasn’t working so I ended up putting it aside. She told me about her X husband and some of the trips they had gone on, how when they had broke up, all “their” friends were really his friends, she was left with a big empty void. Plus her X unintentionally-intentionally discouraged her from talking with her “camp friends” (a group of friends she went to camp with and eventually were all camp counselors and had stayed friends….since has reconnected)) Talked about some memories of her father, how after her mom passed, and they didn’t have much money, they would take the bus into NYC, walk around and had dinner and saw a movie before heading back. She said they had done this every Saturday. I told her about my first love, Lisa and showed her my junior prom picture with her. Told Hayley how I loved her but that she saw me as just a friend. (really funny thing happened, as I was saying that I felt a bit jealous, the song “hey jealousy came on”) I went on to tell her about my college friend Jill who I had a bit of a crush on and a she knew a bit about Nikki, but I said a few more things about her. Hayley told me that I will find a girl soon, “you are too great of a guy not to, you are smart, funny and a great listener. Girls love these qualities in a guy.” We talked about music, about our travels, and before we knew it, it was 1;15 in the morning. We hugged and said our good nights, I checked the baseball scores and when the Yankees had lost to the Mariners, I shut my computer off and eventually drifted to sleep.

Saturday, I got up about 7;15, 45 minutes before my alarm was to go off, and after under 5 hours of sleep, I felt refreshed and ready to go. I grabbed my sox and underwear and went into the bathroom, passing by the room Hayley slept in, got a good morning from her, before heading into the bathroom for a shower. When I was finished up in the bathroom I went back to my room to finish getting dressed. I put on my suit and a tie and the damn dress shoes that I dislike and headed up stairs where I heard some voices. Hayley, Uncle Joe and my mom were in the kitchen having breakfast. My mom was quite surprise to see me, not only up, but up, showered and dressed. I had a slice of challi and a slice of Bobbie’s date and nut bread. My dad had woke and came out, he too was surprised to see me up. Joe was telling us of his plans for the day and as soon as my dad was ready, we had left for temple. Since it was Shabbat, the Shofar was not to be blown, which was good because my sister was getting ready for a wedding and could not make it to temple and she was the one who blows the Shofar for our temple. The service was pretty good. My legs hurt from all those long periods of sitting in tight quarters and standing for long times. Cousin Heidi, Jailen and aunty Sarah went into the children’s services at 10;30.
The Rabbi’s sermon was long but was very good. It started with the 3 types of listening, active, passive and some other type. Simon and Garfunkel wrote a song after JFK was shot, called “sounds of sadness”. He talked about a man who was staying at a hotel and during the early morning hours was woken by loud noise. He went down to the lobby to enquire of this nose. The person said that it was drums but not to worry, but there is a fire but it is being put out. In the morning, he walked out and sure enough, no fire. He thought it was the drums that put out the fire. He told his people and when there was a fire, they would just play drums however the sounds of the drums did not put out the fire. When the town over heard of this, they had told this man that it was not the drums that put out the fire but rather it was the drums that signified there was a fire. He listened but did not actively listened. If we all actively listen more, we will be better people. The sound of the shofar reminds us to listen carefully, to listen to the cry of help or the words that are spoke and to reflect the words to make sure you understand what is being spoken fully.
… or something like that.

We got home from temple on Saturday about 2. Hayley had gone with my cousins to visit Heidi’s brother who was participating in a rehab program. I went with my bro Rob to Target so I could get the new Pearl Jam CD. There was an add in the paper saying if you buy the cd there you could get a few bonus tracks. … Unfortunately, they didn’t have it. The sign said the cd will be coming out on the 20th. I went home and my mom got the add, it was from the Sunday adds that is delivered on Saturday. So the cd wasn’t going to come out till the following day. When we got home my cousins were leaving, they just had dropped off Hayley. Hayley helped my mom prepare for dinner and then we went for a walk. My mom has pictures from her wedding with Hayley’s parents and grand parents that Hayley wanted to copy. So we walked over to wallgreens to copy them. Hayley never copied pictures before using one of those computer things and the lady assisted her. After getting that finished, we went to pick out a picture frame. She would pick them up and let me feel them. After she picked her frames we walked around looking at Halloween things. She would pick up furry things and put them in my hand, asking me what they are. After doing this about 5 or so times I said, why only furry things? She says, you want me to put something in your hand that is plane? Like this? And she put a “blood bag” in my hand. I was like… ah, I’m good with furry things. She laughed. She saw a few cat sets that had the cat ears and cat tails. She was thinking of getting them for her and her friends and they can go as cats. She decided not to. After paying for the frames we went home.
We hung out in my room till people showed up for night two of Rosh Hashanah.
Jailen had came in and started wrestling with me. I know he is ADHD but still, that kid has a lot of energy. My twin had came in and talked with Hayley for a few before saying to J “just cause you are on top of him, doesn’t mean you are winning” and I pressed J straight up off my body. He was wining to me not to hurt him. I just lowered him and we continued wrestling. As Justin was leaving the room, he said You guys want dinner? J had dropped an elbow on my stomach to knock the wind from me so I just gently and slowly dropped him off my bed. He ran up stairs and I said to Justin I’ll be up in a minute. Hayley had walked up with them.
I went up and said hi to everyone. I was standing and my nanna asked me a few times if I wanted to sit, each time I said no thank you, I’m good. With out any word, Hayley took my hands from my side and lead me to a seat. I guess I didn’t have a choice now. About 10 minutes later my mom called us in for dinner. Once again, we said all our blessings and feasted on another 5 course meal. Same as last night but this night’s the soup was a cabbage soup instead of the masaball soup and the main dish was a stuffed turkey and chicken fingers for Jailen and myself. (I don’t eat turkey). I had mash potato and peas, chicken fingers and cranberry sauce.
The temple friends and Amanda was not around this night but my twin and his wife Lindsay were along with a friend of Justin’s and a friend of my dad’s also joined us.
Just as the night before, Red Sox breaks and a lot of laughter and poking fun at each other. Hayley was loving this. All this laughter and chatting. She had told me before that with her family, it was all boring talk. Jeff, who I knew the least except for Hayley, was telling me where my food was after my cousin Heidi and Jailen and Hayley tried to explain where my food was unsuccessfully. It was all good. The food was good as always. Dessert was good too and yes, the Red Sox won again.
Everyone had left and Hayley was very tired. She said that she was sorry that she could not stay up but she needed some sleep. We talked for a few minutes then we retired to our own rooms.

Sunday I got a good night sleep but my body didn’t want it. When I woke, I was tired. I dragged myself out of bed and took a shower. I was running so late that I skipped breakfast. Hayley had gone with my sister Amanda to the temple in Amanda’s jeep with the top and doors off. Hayley had told me in an email that she loved the jeep ride.
I got to temple, Justin and Lindsay were already there, so wasn’t Amanda and Hayley. Rob would soon join the family. Amanda had to run the show. The person who was suppose to do the kid’s service was ill and could not make it and was only notified when the Rabbi said to the members “and today’s children’s service with be lead by Amanda” my sister was like… I cant do that? Who put my name in the mix? She talked to some of the people in charge and the Shofar would not be till later so she would get to do that too. Amanda lead the children service and then was on the bimma to blow the shofar. She is amazing. (Don’t take this the dirty way) She can blow better than any of the big strong men. (Not that she wasn’t big and strong herself, being the football player she is)

Sunday’s sermon was on vision. The lesson was, you can search long and far for beauty but the true beauty may not be far. So keep your eyes opened around
you.
A man wants to be a master camera man. He had a dream of opening up a door and a person from the camera gill told him that he must capture the most beautiful thing in the world with his camera. If he were to do this, he too can join. He awoke from the dream and told his wife of this news. He got all his stuff ready to search long and hard for the most beautiful site. However, he forgot the most important thing, a camera. So he went into a shop and looked around. The shop owner came over and asked him what he was looking for, the man told him. The shop owner said that he had the perfect camera for him. He pulled from the top shelf a little camera. The shop keeper said to the man that the only thing is, he must develop the film here. The man said he would and purchased the camera.
The man had climbed the tallest mountain of the land and looked down. He said, “this must be the most beautiful site in all the land” and took a photo of the landscape. He worried, what if it is not? He continued on his travel. He saw a bridge, on one side were slaves, on the other side, armed men however, the armed men were laying down their arms. The man enquired and a solder had responded with, we have agreed to peace. The man thought, this is the most beautiful thing in all the land and snapped a photo. He hand traveled along the river and through a forest. He came to a clearing that had a man and a woman both playing violins. He thought, this, this is the most beautiful thing in all the land and proceeded to take a perfect picture. He had headed back to the shop to get the film developed. He could not find the shop. He had asked people where the store is, they laughed at him, there is no such shop. He took out his camera to retreat the film and realize, there was no film. Feeling disappointed, ashamed and stupid, he was afraid to show his face to his family. He went to a window sill of his home. His wife and beautiful children were sitting around, his youngest asking with tears the wear about of father. His wife was unsure herself and looked sad. The man realized something, this, this is the most beautiful thing in the world, my family. I didn’t have to go far to realize this. He went into the house and his wife and children were so happy that he was home there was no mention of the camera or his travels.

When the temple services were over, I went back to the house with Justin and Lindsay. After getting changed into comfortable clothing, I went into the den and watched the Patriots football game with my siblings. It was very nice. We got called up for lunch, where my mom had prepared a buffet of pickies. Those who were interested in the football game, was in the kitchen and those who weren’t, were in the dining room. While I was eating I heard Hayley saying bye to Justin and Lindsay so I got up and gave her a tight hug, thanked her for coming and how much fun I had with her. The rest of the family split at some point, Justin and Lindsay staying till the end of the game. At half time Justin, Lindsay and I went back up to target to get the Pearl Jam CD. We got there, saw the place where they CD should have been but there was none. Lindsay asked someone about it and they had said that they should have got it in the shipment but it wasn’t there. She said that it should be in within the next two days. Once again, I went home disappointed. Justin and Lindsay finished watching the Patriots game with me and then headed home.

The END

(footnote, I went with my mom on Tuesday and got the pearl Jam CD. It’s pretty good