my lonely b day...I'm leaving on a jetblue bonjovi+baseball

03/01/2013

Happy unbirthday, to me.

Thank you all who wished me a happy birthday..unfortunately, it wasnt a happy birthday. It was more like a lonely birthday.

After going to sleep about 4AM, my phone wrang at 8AM and I let it go to voice mail and I checked my voice mail. It was my cousin Heidi, singing happy birthday to me. So needless to say, I was up. I had nothing to and a lot of time to do it. I went on fb and saw I started getting people liking and favoriting my happybirthday post as well as people posting messages to my wall... I mean, timeline. why did they change that anyways? Eventually I went up stairs for breakfast about 9;30. came back down. I think hmm I dont know when, but I worked out. I only mention this because I benched a new all time high for me. I have been doing 120LBS and been doing it 5 sets between 6-9 a set. So I took off the two 10's and put on 2 15's and so now I had 130 LBS on the bench. Let's keep in mind, when I was at the doc in January, I weighed 157, so I'm almost benching my own weight. anywho, back to my day. I did more of nothing mixed with starting to pack for my trip and eventually having lunch alone. all by myself on my birthday. Each time I went up stairs, I would check the mail box to see if the mail came. I think it came after I had lunch. I brought it in and thumbed through it, litterally, trying to see if any was from Karen (she would have brailled my name on the envalope so I know it was from her) but it didnt come. I was bumbedout. Around quarter of 3, I went up stairs from reading fb message and emails and sports stuff, and just layed on the very comfy couch, resting till my ride came to get me for work.

I went to work. The clients were a little more polite. Strange. and went I went down stairs to say "HI!" to my coworkers, the relief worker said "what's up?" I said, just wanted to say hi, he asked me what the plan was for today. I told him. He said that the fulltime counselor would be doing it with me. I said ok. As I was walking past the door where she was, I paused, if she was not busy, she would say hi and I would chat for a moment and if she doesnt say hi, I know she is extremely busy...well she was extremely busy. I went back up stairs where I work from. (the dining room table) and I wrote out the agender and chatted with a client for a min or two but then I just waited till my coworker was ready to assist in the group. I was bored for an hour. I sat and played on line games. Eventually my coworker was ready and got all the clients and we ran a group. I signed my time sheet and my father picked me up from work so we could head to the restaurant.

We got to the restaurant and we were the first ones there. My sister was there a minute later and about 15 minutes later, my twin, his wife their baby and my mom got there. We went to a sports bar restaurant. I had 3 dif flavors of wings and onion rings and some steak fries and a little bowl of coldslaw ... I was full. My twin asked me if I could eat a dessert myself. I said "nnnnnnno" we split an apple cobbler with ice cream. It was very good. At this point, I looked pregnant lol. anywhwo, I got to hold my nephew for a bit and sang "take me out to the ballgame" to him. and I opened cards. They were different. I dont remember who gave it to me, but one said something like...it's yur birthday, enjoy it anyway you want.(open card) even if that means being in your mancave. My sibs got me a gift. It was a book on cd. it is the bio of the x red sox manager. You'd think I would love it. it is about the redsox. Except for the fact that I dont like books. I get bored. But I'll read it anyways...not sure when though. At the same time I am opening my gift, my twin opens a gift from our parents. A gc to use in NYC (Justin and lindsay are going to NYC for dinner and a play) and then we left... so, you maybe asking, what did you get from your parents? As soon as I find out, I will let you know. yup. my parents didnt get me anything for my birthday.

My mom went back to ustin's house to baby sit and so dad drove me home. When we got home he said he was going to meet a friend for drinks. so it was 9pm and I was home alone again, on my birthday.

I did get 4 phone calls, my cousin Heidi, my NJ cousin Hayley, my best friend John and his sister, tx Lisa.

I got 42 messages on fb and a bunch of notes and likes. but I never heard from Karen. She didnt call me. She didnt send me a email-text or an fb message. I was feeling sad.

I did get a phone call from Karen when she got out of work. I told her how I was feeling about "us?" and why and she told me that she was sorry and gave me her reason, and it was a good reason...I guess. She truly has a lot going on in her head and needs to figure out her next step.When I got off the phone with her, I was smiling again.

So although it was a very lonely birthday...

I'm heading to FLORIDA!

I'm going to Palm City to spend a few days, Fri-Tues, with the same people I visited in September. Saturday we're going to a bon jovi concert and Sunday we're going to a spring training game and I have no idea what else but whatever it is, it will be fun and it will be away from my parents. my room and away from my job.

I hope my 35th year is not an indicated by the first day of my 35th year...I dont want to be alone-lonely any more.