The highs were pretty sparkly high for me
the lows, were very very dark and low
And now... they are kinda turning back to reality with some tastes of good and some taste of bad remaining.
Of course I am talking about Leigh and I am talking about the work issue.
I will email Leigh next week just to see how she is doing and if she found a new apartment and ask her how her kids are doing (she's a pre school teacher) and just go from there.
But you know, I am left wondering as I turn 33 in 10 days, am I ever going to find her? And if not, how am I going to live my life a single man with all the love and care to offer and having no one to feel my love, my cares?
Work is getting a little easy again. It's getting back to normal even with the extremely large and frightening elephant in the room. We have 2 sometimes 3 staff members on hand at all time. (not including myself, I only work 4 hrs a week) Unfortunately, with the pending trial, our place will be put back on attention to the world and I hope the clients are not harrassed. I talked to them about this spacific situation. I told them how to channel their emotions, what to do and what to say if someone wants to ask them --talk to them about the situation. So... we'll see.
My boss did sit me down and say "you do know how much you are appreciated around here right? I made a face and said well, sometimes. (I thought she was refering to the clients)
she said: I want to make sure you know how much I appreciate having you around. Do you know how many emails I get a day? (probably close to 100) And I know that if there is a situation which needs to be talked about, all I have to do is forward you the email, without reading it, and I feel relaxed knowing that you will inform the clients and do it in a professional and caring manner. *smile*
But you know, as my 33rd b day is now 10 days away, I am left wondering, am I ever going to find a fulltime job where I can udilize my educational knowledge and life skills wich I have learned along the way?? If so, is it going to be in this field or another? Or am I going to be 40 years old living either in my parent's house or in a little apartment with nothing to do with all this knowledge and experience?
I know some of you are going to say nice things but the fact is, it pretty much has been like this since I graduated college in 2001. I had nothing to do so I went to grad school. I couldnt find a job so I went back to school for an advance grad degree and still, I cant find a fulltime job.
AND besides, what woman wants a guy, no matter how caring and loving he is, if he doesnt have a full time job?
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