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Beyond Belief
by A RedSox Fan

previous entry: there is a place in your heart where I use to be

next entry: an old find, a concert and happy mother's day

Who are you when no one is looking? Bloop theme

05/02/2009

Bloop theme 212
Who are you when no one is looking?

I am Dare Devil! It’s not easy being Dare Devil and just like any profession it does have its rewards and drawbacks. Sure, during the day I am a very part time counselor looking for a counseling gig, listening to baseball and music but when I slip out the back door of my parent’s house late at night, I go and help fight crimes.

To be honest, if you have been reading me for a while like most of my favorites have, you will know most of who I am and what I am about. My friends and family don’t know about this place that I can go and write what ever I want, when ever I want.

I have many sides of me but somehow, they all touch in the middle. Kinda like a flower. Each of my personalities are represented by the peddles but they all touch in the middle.

Looking around my bedroom, you would see a lot of who I am.
When you first walk in, you are in the corner, with an entertainment system thing right on the right, against the wall. There is a lot of junk in the little cabinet and shelf that makes up the entertainment system. There is a DVD player that I got one year for Chanukah that wasn’t compatible with my TV with some books on cd and some dvds. My old fashion Braille Writer, that is a thing of junk meddle with a few keys on it, that still works as new as when it was first made in 1889. (nah, kidding on the year, but it is an original) Neatly stacked on this entertainment system is a 300 disk player, mostly made up of 80’s rock, early 90’s RNB and grunge. Set on top is my XM radio that I love so much. It brings me so much happiness and relaxation every night. Next to my radio, going along the wall, is seats from Fenway Park that I bought in December. They are Red and Blue cushioned seats with cup holders. It makes me feel like I am there sometimes.
Next to that is my bed. What can I say about my bed. It is the top half of bunk beds that my twin and I shared from the time we got out of cribs. (so its probably older than most of my readers) It is not broken at all and although my mom always threatens to throw it, I will keep my little boy bed for as long as I can. Next is a dresser that is part of a set. When my twin and I turned about 10 ish, my parents bought us a set with a dresser and a desk and another dresser… I think. On it, I have my new flat screen TV that my mom made me buy because my TV she said was too old and she wanted the house to have all flat screens. Its kiddy cornered over there. There is an autograph Patrick Ewing jersey that is framed. There is another frame over there leaning against the wall. Will have to ask someone what is in the frame. Then comes to the end of the first wall.
My closet that would make any teenage girl go into heat over. It’s a closet that lines the entire wall. So 10.5 feet of closet space, about 3 feet deep. I use half of it. My mom has I don’t know what on the other side.
I have all my jackets on the far left, then my suits, than dress shirts, than collared shirts for work, than my t-jersey, most of which are Red Sox. My Champion t-shirts. My favorite brand. Then is most of my replica jerseys. I have about 15 basketball, 3 football, 3 hockey, and like 6 baseball jerseys.
Then is my mom’s side of my closet.
On the floor of my closet, boxes that make me very sad. Memories of floods from over the years that washed away my childhood and 99% of my baseball card collection. There are boxes with some clothes, some random junk including cassettes. (you know? Before they had cds, um, before they had mp3? Oh never mind) I don’t even know what is in the other boxes. I know one is of baseball cards.
Then comes to the third wall of my room.
I have a backdoor of the house that leads to a storage area that leads outside. On either side of the door are showcases? I don’t know, they are selves that have windows that can be pushed aside to put things on the shelves and you close the windows and you display things. The things are about 6 ft tall and has 4 shelves in each. They have a lot of my starting lineups. (toy figures of sports players) that I have been collecting since 1988. So I have about 300 of them. I also have my Nolan Ryan collectables. (He’s my hero, a great baseball player who retired in 1993) I have authentic signed bats, balls, homeplates, I have 24caret gold Nolan Ryan dishes, 24carret Nolan Ryan stamps, and a book of Nolan Ryan stamps, I have autograph pictures of him and a box of baseball cards that includes my Nolan Ryan cards. The value of those cards, when cards are going well, could probably buy a bran new ford focus car. (my twin has one, so I know how much they go for) I have other autographs too, but cant think of them. There is an engraved bat that my twin gave me for being a groomsman for his wedding. It has something like “Justin and Lindsay,” the date, and the bible saying from their wedding that he loved. Something like “my beloved is mine and I am my beloved”? The other guys in the wedding got sport team pool sticks in cases. The cases is written what is on my Bat. They all play pool and my twin thought it pointless to get me one.
So far on this wall, is a shelf, a door then another shelf. Then is my desk.
OOOOh my desk.
It’s a simple desk, with 3 drawers on the left side, with 3 shelves, the top of which nearly touches my sealing. (I think my room is close to 7ft high) On one self, has some books that are probably prayer books. I know one is from my Bar Mitzvah. I also have my two thesis up there and my diplomas. I have old pictures, my JR prom, my SR prom, my cousin playing hockey from about 6 years ago. A picture of a girl who I met when I first got on line back in 2001. We stopped talking about 5 years ago now? I have some birthday cards up there too. There is a few framed certifications I have gotten. I also have a tea cup where I keep my change and some cash. There is a fish bowl that I have ticket stubs from the last few years of games and concerts I have been to.
The next self, I have M&M suspense’s. A few years ago they were cool to get. Hmm alright, it was a few more than a few years ago now, now that I think about it. There are some more starting line ups and other random stuff.
In the drawers I have a bunch of crap. But A few things that are not crap. I have my Tullis bag (Kate how do you explain a Tullis?) a long cloth scarf like garment that a Jewish boy wears on his Bar Mitzvah and from that day on, that has a bunch of meanings behind it, but mostly symbolizes a Jewish man who has had their Bar Mitzvah. Well it comes with a special bag. So I have the bag, with the Tullis in it and a few yamakahs from over the years. Including a Red Sox one a friend of the family hand made for me. The one from my Bar Mitzvah and one my sister brought back from Israel for me. There is a framed autograph picture and an autograph booklet from the play “Chicago” that together, tells a story. A story about how Jonathan got a kiss from a teen pop star from the 80’s that he thought was beautiful and sang just as beautiful. Her name is Debby Gibson.
I am sure I am leaving out a bunch of stuff that is in my drawers. No pun intended *laughs*
So next to my desk is a file cabinet with important career and school related papers and documents. I have a scanner on top of that.
The last few feet of the 3rd wall has a Red Sox bar stool that has the box to my internet on it. There is a little window up in the upper corner of the wall that looks out to the backyard. I have no idea what’s on the windowsill I am sure some junk and well there cant be much up there.
The forth and final wall has pretty much nothing except for the head side of my bench press I have in my room that sticks out to the middle of my room. There are weights stacked randomly against the wall. Then is the corner and we are back to my door.

I am sure that tells a bit about me.

I am an insecure blind guy who has a hearing problem.
A shy, introvert who loves to shout and screen during games and sings loudly, horribly, but loudly, when no one is around.
A sensitive, emotional guy who can hold up the house when it becomes emotionally fragile.
Humorous, funny, witty to some people. Love hearing the sound of laughter.
A well educated man who loves his profession and strives to get the most out of his clients and coworkers without stepping on too many shoes.
A passionate, caring, understanding, great listener that can be seen as stubborn, but knows what he wants…most of the time. A picky eater no doubt.
A person who is close to his family, friends and is proud to be Jewish, American and from the Boston area. GO RED SOX! CELTICS! BRUINS! And PATRIOTS!
A t-shirt and jean cheep Jew, that spends a lot of money on pleasures for himself and others. I’m more about quantity, not quality. I rather go to 10 games and sit in the bleachers than 1 game and sit behind home plate. However, I have been known to splurge and be seen on TV behind home plate once every few years.
I have been called the internal optimist at work. Very rarely seen down or upset or troubled at work and don’t like seeing coworkers that way.
At work I am outgoing and talkative. Feel comfortable and relaxed.
Afraid of heights that is not safe or appears to be not safe. Blood, even just the mention of the word makes me squirmish.
I hate spelling. English makes no scents.
I battle constantly with the ever changing technology. As things are made easier and more affordable for people, it is made more difficult and expensive for the blind. This makes me angry, sometimes. Especially when I go to order tickets and I cant simply because I am blind. (what?!) yes, the little icon with the letters and numbers you have to write in, I can not do that and have to rely on others. If others are not busy and are willing to do it for me that is.
I am scared of the future. Scared of living alone and independently.
“I adapt to the unknown” (Metallica, where ever I may roam)
A very curiously sexual being who enjoys learning about pleasures for both sexes and how to maximize them.
I have a little kid inside. I love Disney and the muppets.
A gambler, it is relaxing to me, playing slot machines and when I have a few extra dollars, blackjack.
A strong belief that somehow sports really does control the world.
Visual things don’t appeal to me any more. Sorry. Watching movies, TV, going through a photo album, window shopping, going for a walk or sitting on a beach knowing beautiful females in next to nothing, are around me.


Loves-passion include: baseball, Chinese food, Salad, chocolate covered strawberries, writing poetry, numbers, Bon Jovi music and my bed.
Hopes: Marriage, a doctorate degree, visiting all major league stadiums, a book of my poems published, a little condo near my family. To discover something in the world of psychology and be the next famous Jewish psychologist your kids will be reading about in their psych text books.
Fears: being alone, being hopeless as the sited world advances and I am left with these degrees that wont mean anything and I will be left collecting disability income from the hardworking men and women of America for the rest of my life.

Thank you for reading this entry.
Did I leave anything out?
Are there things about me that maybe I don’t know but you have noticed?

Did anyone really read this entire entry?

previous entry: there is a place in your heart where I use to be

next entry: an old find, a concert and happy mother's day

0 likes, 4 comments

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Random Noter: You sound like an amazing and awe inspiring guy. The whole blind attribute made me pay even more attention. Yes, I read the whole entry...twice just to make sure I didn't miss anything. I don't think you have too much to worry about for the future. You have a great head on your shoulders and despite having a physical challenge, you have learned to face that challenge and excel.

My only qualm? I'm from Cleveland...it's Indians for me! To each their own though, right?

[Kristin with an i|0 likes] [|reply]

Wow, you have a ton of stuff in your room! I guess that's what happens when you spend your entire life in there!
Boston is kind of amazing. I told you i'm looking for a job there after I graduate, right?
You pretty much covered everything about yourself. Although I had no idea you don't really like walking down the beach or anything like that. I'm a Jersey girl, I HAVE to be near a beach, hahaha.
Your fears are perfectly legitimate though.

[Kate.Monster|0 likes] [|reply]

You're amazing, you know that?? And yes I read the whole entry

[Scarlett's Mommy|0 likes] [|reply]

do you ever feel the need to simplify

[Simply*CarliseStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Diary added to your faves.
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