Woke with tears behind my eyelids

You didn't do anything wrong. She's the one in the wrong for leading you on. You need to tell her how you feel. Even if it's just in a FB message. Get it out and let her know how much she's hurt you.

*Random* I agree that he didn't do anything wrong. He was just led on and this woman probably enjoyed the attention. However, sending her "one last" FB message is just going to feed her ego. I say close that door, and look forward to meeting someone who will actually deserve him.

it sounds as though you've tried all available avenues to contact her. It seems harsh to say it, but I don't think that sending her anything else is really going to help at this point. all you really can do is wait and see if she reaches out to you or responds to the message you sent her eventually.

sometimes people just need space, and they don't (or can't) give an explanation as to why at the time. it hurts and it certainly isn't fair, and it doesn't excuse it happening. but it happens. I hope you hear from her soon.

ha, yeah. my entries of late tend to be long since I go so long in between writing. i'm trying to get better about that. but school/life have a habit of keeping me away.

Texas is super effing hot. Like, ridiculously so. Though it gets pretty hot here in Nebraska as well (it's been over 100 degrees for that majority of this past week, which has been ridiculously unpleasant).

I love grad school. love it! even though it really makes me question my sanity at times, I wouldn't change the path and choices I've made. around 3 years to go for me and then I should be finished with my Ph.D. and on to other things.

I imagine it is incredibly hard not to hear from her. I mean, obviously I don't know the background of your story where she is concerned, but it is evident that you care deeply about her. I think one of the hardest things to do is wait when it concerns someone we feel that strongly about, especially when it is painful to do so. but you've given her opportunities to connect with and contact you, and indicated that you care by reaching out to her, so there really isn't much else to do on your part.

i'm sorry :/ I hope you do hear from her soon

attaining a phd certainly isn't an easy thing to accomplish, by any means. but i'm fortunate in that I go to a university that provides students with an opportunity to compete for assistantships that pay your tuition, which is a big incentive. and it helps that i'm at a point in my life where I do not have other obligations that could interfere with such a goal.

I honestly never imagined myself going to grad school. never. it wasn't something I considered when I was younger, and it definitely wasn't part of my game plan when I was an undergraduate student. I wanted to get my bachelor's degree and be done. and then they mentioned getting a master's degree and I originally laughed and told them no, but ended up doing it. then laughed and said no once again when they mentioned a phd... and now here I am. it's been 10 years since I started undergrad, and i'm still in college. ha

well now I can understand a bit better as to why this is so painful to you, outside of your love for her, I mean. a 10 year friendship is no small thing. it sounds as though you make it very obvious that you care for her, that she's important to you.

YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!! She's the one who has so little consideration for your feelings! Quite honestly I think she is fitting the "I don't feel the same way but I'm gonna let him think I do because I don't want to hurt his feelings but gets in way too deep and shuts the person out" kind of girl. I've known a lot of girls who have done this, not always intentional, especially since the main reasoning is they don't want to hurt you, but it happens anyway and is generally worse than telling the truth. The truth generally hurts a lot less. Still hurts like hell, but at least it's like ripping the bandaid off quickly instead of prolonging it. I only hope, if this is the case, she makes up her mind about what she needs to do.

You really haven't done anything wrong.
She needs to just be straight up with you and stop leading you on. There's no reason for her behaving like this, she'd know it would hurt you, too.

.Blue Bella.

You shouldn't internalize it. Im sure its something she is going through right now.