things were going amazing with the emails. She thought so too. She asked me on a date for tomorrow (well, today now) and quickly sent a follow up email saying how about tonight? continued saying "how spontanious are you?" my email went like this...
Jonathan: I would love to, I had asked if you read my profile... I had put there that I am blind. I hope that doesn’t make a big deal because I think you are a fun lady who I have lots in common with. I will answer any questions you have. 
Tomorrow there are friends and family coming up to the beach house but Thursday evening works or anytime Friday if you want to go to the movies.
Ali: Sorry I didn't read your profile
and that was the last email I got from her
Another girl broke my heart just because I'm fucking blind. It doesnt matter that I am smart, caring, thoughtful, enjoy sports, am Jewish, or any of that stuff. All that stuff is swept aside just because I am blind. I fucking hate this.
"unbreak my heart"
"you give love, a bad name"
"sitting here waisted and woonded at this old piano, trying hard to capture the moment, this morning I dont know."
Even my twin said that everything that was in her profile, she was perfect for me. She only had a headshot for a pic on the site, usually that means the lady is unsecure about her body and I didnt care. Her personality, her being fun and funny and had so many of the same hobbies as me... I was going to look over what ever she looked like but she could not look past the fact that I am blind.
This is not the first time and I am really really sure, just like over 540 females on jdate alone who looked at my profile, if she would have actually looked at my profile, she would never have responded to me.
fucking eh. what's wrong? I'm blind. yes. I can not see. ok. but I am not a fucking desease. I'm not an abusive alcoholic who is obsessive and posessive. I just dont get it. I just dont get it. I just dont fucking get it.
give me something to smile about. Something to be gitty about. give me something to make me feel like a high kid again and then for more times I want to care to think about, I mention I'm blind and that's the end of it.
It's hard to hold a candle, in the cold november rain
I'm angry, I'll be sad, I'll just want to forget bout this, and my day will just move on.
ya, but then what? then after this few days are over and I am back in my room with nothing to do. I'll go back on the site and I will look for yet another woman. Another woman who will break my heart again.
Can someone just tell me what is in the mind of these amazing women who are shallo?
I just want a special lady to care about, to love, to take care of in any way I posibly can. I just...
OK, that's enough fucking bitching for now.
You can go back to your regular life |
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the sucky thing is they'll never see what a good boyfriend you are and there isn't much of an adjustment to dating someone who is blind
