Anti hominid

04/28/2014

Aw, I'm all startin over an' junk.

For the record I'm not new to Bloop, I just got tired of the old diary. GONE ARE THE ENTRIES. Yea, a new diary has begun.

Also I'm just gonna skip over the part where I call this a diary but never really update it with any diary type stuff and instead I just complain/rage/mindlessly type.

For those of you who didn't have the express pleasure of reading my previous posts, I'm basically super awesome and beautiful and popular and have like 100 boyfriends.

My name is Sam, I built a house with my silly ol' boyfran, where we currently reside with 1x super cute amazing Springer Spaniel puppy named Darby and 1x grumpy fat old lady cat named Carmen who's immense hatred of all things is only matched by her near overwhelming apathy.

We built the house last year, lived in it all winter, and now that the snow has FINALLY FUCKING MELTED we can get started on grading the land and planting grass and stuff. We got thrown a curve ball when the existing septic tank shit the bed, so that was an unplanned expense. But that got done yesterday, and basically the entire yard got ripped up, so currently it looks like we're fuckin testing missiles but it'll be pretty, soon.

Darby's starting to get too big for baths in the sink. He decided yesterday it'd be fun to roll around in the dirt and dig a bunch of holes and then go running through the stream, effectively turning his dirty self into muddy self. Bath time ensued and I got just as much of a bath as he did. What else?

Oh. My friend came over with her two little ones, annnnnnnd I kinda wanna punch her son in the face. Is it wrong to want to punch a 4 year old? Just kidding I don't care. He's an asshole, all he did all day was whine. Which, I'm not a monster[most of the time] I'm willing to throw a kid a bone for having a bad day or whatever. But fucking christ that's all this little shithead ever does is whine and complain. The puppy, naturally, was excited to see people, and came running over. He didn't jump, he didn't nip, he just came running over and sat down wagging his tail like he always does. Swear to christ this kid "I don't liiiiiiiiiiike doggieeeeeees.." Wah wah wah cry on mommy's shoulder. Fuck you kid, I don't fuckin like you. Suck it up, you're fuckin 4.

To be perfectly honest though it's not entirely Kim's fault. Her mom basically ruined him, along with all her other kids. Kim's the eldest of 6 and literally the only normal one. Their family is fucked to hell. Anyway her baby was cute, the littlest is one in May, and she was a happy little butthead. Still not a fan of kids but at least the baby didn't cry. Fuck I hate crying babies. Not because I'm all "aw poor baby." But because it invokes a rage that can only be quelled with either blood or removing the offending baby from my range of hearing.

I was made for a lot of things, being a mother is not one of them.

That being said if you're a baby and you're just gonna sit there and be fat and cute I'm gonna d'aaawwwww all over you.

My birthday recently came to pass and I got a SICK present from Eric. He got me a light board! Which means I can finally, EASILY, transfer my drawings onto better paper, finish them, mat, frame, sell. BOOM. Also gives me a huge leg up while trying to get into the tattoo game, which I am actively trying to do. Finding an apprenticeship is hard. Wah.

I think that's enough for one entry at the moment.

PERHAPS LATER I SHALL WRITE MORE