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What Dreams May Come
by Utter Silence

previous entry: Caution: Brain at Work

next entry: Mirror

Here's to hope and a rambling

01/07/2009

WhEn PuSh CoMeS tO sHoVe
All right so this is bad Rachel time. I know, I know. I should not post again. But... well... see... I have sort of been thinking.... I've been thinking about my elusive story I refuse to post. I've been thinking of my stories past and of the poems I've written. All of which have been posted on here, and then I have 2 uploaded to Fictionpress. (User is beyond.time if anyone is interested *snorts*)

Maybe it has been my like 20 Butterfingers today or the fact that I am on my 4th juice box - tis apple. ^_^ Maybe it is the fact that in my AP English class I have to actually write like 2-4 page essays now and not just short little 1 pages. I don't know.

I do know that I love my AP to death even if it sucks sometimes. I love it because I can come on Bloop when I want. I love it because I actually LEARN stuff. I love it because - while it is only in my mind as it is online and independent - I get to think and brew over what I read. I am not asked stupid questions.

Like in my English 11 class we are reading The Crucible. It is a good play. It really is. My classmates just finished ACT 2, it took us like at least 3 weeks to do that as we are reading it aloud. Me... I read ahead while they all read it and finished it within the first week. Meanwhile I have been reading Aenid and The Canterbury Tales, the latter was only like 4 poems out of the collection and was for my AP.

Now this has a point, this whole thing. You see, you take for instance today, my teacher told us to do questions 1-4 and 7 - for Act 2. One of the questions was something like "What evidence was there against Elizabeth proctor?" another was "Why was Reverend Hale visiting the Proctors?". And personally I hate questions like that - in English. I want to discuss. I KNOW that this and this happened as should everyone else. I want to think about the story and have fun with it and not treat it like a math equation where there are right and wrong answers.

Does that make me weird? Bullocks if it does, because I do not care. Truthfully, I do not want to take English 12 next year. Because I go to a small school and I have had this same teacher for the past oh... 4 years.... I know the routine. (There are like 25 kids in my grade and I have a BIG grade.) Truthfully I think that I have learned more English in my AP than I have in my structured class where there are rights and wrongs. I have gotten a B on my AP English for the first semester, that is pretty damn good considering everyone else that has taken that class - except one - has failed it.

And while I am straight "A" student, I am satisfied with a B. I jacked off. I wouldn't read all the stuff but just go through the course info and hunt and peck for answers. I would spend half of my week surfing the net and still got down early and started late on my course. I took it seriously but it was last period and I would be tired. I can get decent grades, "B's" to "A's" on my tests but it is the essays that kill me. For the life, I cannot get above an 87.

I have never been taught how to write an essay and how to think about it like that. The closest I've come is my speech class in 9th grade. Thank goodness for that or I would be screwed. I am an "average" writer and no matter how hard I try I cannot get above an 87 and it pisses me off. Even on my ACT my writing was average. And the worst part is that my grade was the last grade to get that speech class with that teacher because my school fired her. Nice, huh? They fired our 2nd English teacher so now there are no English electives (AP doesn't count cause it is online.) And it is with the same teacher who is one of those slide-by teachers.

So yes, this is just a long ramble about nothing really. But isn't that what most of my entries are... long rambles? I am just waiting, waiting, waiting for College English and hoping that it will be better. Hoping I will get more out of it than I do my High School English. Here's to hope?



- this layout was made by simple layouts.

previous entry: Caution: Brain at Work

next entry: Mirror

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If it is any comfort, I've never been really that good at essays either. The only classes I've taken that even somewhat go into essays are my mandatory English classes. And I can't remember when the last time someone went over how to do write an essay. My school doesn't have any English electives. I make Bs on most of my essays, too.

And don't worry about it, Rachee! An 87 isn't a bad grade. Most people probably makes worse than you do on essays!

What's your grading system? Like, is 90-100 an A or 95-100? With mine, it's 95+ for an A or 93+ in honors classes. I hate it because most of the people I know that go to other schools have 90+ as an A. And well, occasionally I do make a B on report cards & usually it is a high B {like 90-94} And if I do, it's usually due to something I couldn't control, like my horrible art abilities or group work in which the stupid people turned in half the project late, which resulted in us getting partial credit and not full. But you know, it doesn't anger me about the group thing, not much, because you know.. I couldn't help it, really, so I figure it's how I do on my stuff that really matters. I really don't like group work, Rachee. Because I work better alone. Way better.

[~shinelikestars.|0 likes] [|reply]

Remember that it all depends on who grades them.

As for the whole English classes issue, I'm afraid it is like that everywhere even in big schools. They are just to cheap to separate classes according to skill level or something of the sort.

[Moonsie|0 likes] [|reply]

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