Smile...
Boy oh boy do I have boy dilemmas. Let's take case 1, shall we.
Case 1
All right so the first case is a great guy, he really is. He is smart and funny and is very argumentative, just like me. He provides a good debate, which I absolutely love. He plays basketball but is very competitive almost to the point that this is bad.
I have absolutely no idea if he likes me or not. Well, I mean we are friends... but you know what I mean. I've already made mistakes with him before, as in telling my friends of my crush on him a few years back. But I have subsided those nasty rumors, which just completely ruined everything. Right now we are just friends.... Just friends.
I would love to be more than just friends, because he doesn't go out kinda like me. Well not crazy-like, like getting drunk and smoking and stupid partying and things like that. But he has a mean streak at times, where he can say really careless things usually just as jokes though. He isn't as bad as soon of the guys that I know, but it can still hurt... ya know? And I just don't know if he would listen and care like I would really want. But I am an optimistic person when it comes to people. I always try to see the best in people, especially the ones I know. Yes, yes I know I complain about work and how I hate the customers but that is just irritation from actually working - most of the time.
I mean I have known this guy for like only all of my life... well for the last 12 years. And I know it is just high school and everything but I still would hate to ruin our friendship. Why lose something prematurely, or lose something when it doesn't need to be lost? I really don't know much about him, though, because he is kinda private about everything, then again so am I, despite the amount I talk.
Case 2
All right now onto Case 2! YEP NUMERO DOS!!! He is a real sweety. He listens to me and I feel like he truly does listen. I am not really attracted to him as much as Case 1 and Case 3. But he is a friend, a really good friend. In fact there are times when I think he is a better friend than some of my girlfriends.
He really is the kind of guy I could see myself running to for a shoulder to cry on. I guess I really don't know much about this guy either. I mean he plays basketball and he really isn't into the hard-core party scene that I know of. I mean he is usually the first one to leave events and things like that.
I have a feeling that he might like me a bit, but hell if I know. I really think we are just friends. In fact I am 99% sure we are just friends. But I just don't know. I really think that - for me - he is more of my guy best friend, and all I can really see is us being friends. But I would feel so terrible if he really did like me and I just brushed him off and didn't do anything about it. You know? Because he is such a good friend.
Case 3
All right so onto the number 3! Number three is a little tricky because I don't feel as open as I normally do when I see him... more because of the place than him. And I really am not much of an open person. Seriously I rarely get invited to anything.... I guess people forget about me or something and I always feel bad inviting myself so I just don't go. I wish people would, but they don't and how selfish is it to say that you want to be invited more. That is just not me, but I am off topic.
Guy 3 is a real sweety too. I mean I kinda got mad at him before but he really takes it to heart. I mean he acts like all jokes and all comedic but he does take things seriously and he does care. He just has a harder time showing it. I guess him and Case 1 are one of those cases of wanting to see the best in people and really believe that they will care even when you haven't personally seen it to much of an extent.
I know he appreciates me. But he is also a year older than me and well... he plans on going into the military. Now, I don't think this is a bad thing. It is just that since he is a senior he would be going away and even if he doesn't by the time I graduate... I will be. I know, I am weird for thinking like this. But let me explain, I feel that he could take advantage of me more than the others. I don't mean in a terrible sexual way or anything like that... but well... I don't know. I just can't explain it. I also understand that the same holds true for the other guys but it is more of an issue with this one.
He is also very thickheaded. He is hard to waiver from his opinions but at least acknowledges others opinions even when he doesn't agree. And just like the other two he doesn't really party that much, and if he does he doesn't drink or smoke. He actually looks down on people that do that because he thinks it is completely and totally stupid. I wouldn't - personally - look down on someone for it, but I do think it is stupid.
The other problem I have with this one is that he has/had a girlfriend. I don't know if he still going out with her or not. I don't see him that much, so I wouldn't know. I feel terrible if I broke him and his girlfriend up or even worse if I went after him while he still had a girlfriend. I don't know; I would just feel terrible in almost any scenario. Then there is also the fact that if he still has a girlfriend then why the hell is he flirting with me?
Case 4
Last but not least is Case 4. I actually went out with this guy... sorta. I mean we went to Homecoming, and that was only because I didn't want to go alone. Now the problem with this one is that I don't really like him. As a friend, sure... not good friends, but friends.
The problem is that he has been like following me around. He is at the activities I am at, even when he doesn't have to be. He basically invites himself for a ride home. I am pretty sure he arranged his schedule so he would be around me tonight, and then sat by me the entire time at the basketball game and offered me a ring pop. This is mainly cause we were working the concessions with some other people and I said I wanted a ring pop but at the same time I didn't want one.
I really don't want to hurt him. But I really just want him to leave me alone. I have tried just like ignoring him but it doesn't seem to be working. And yes I am chicken because I don't want to talk to him. Don't get me wrong he is a good guy, I just don't really like him. But I don't want to hurt him either. But I am really getting tired of him always being around and ignoring him doesn't seem to be getting the job done.
I really wish there was a way I could get him to cool down and just give me my space and accept the fact that all we can be is friends, without like actually talking to him. Yeah I really am a chicken. It is also hard cause I have known him for like 9 years or something like that. It is just... well... I am a chicken.
So needless to say, in my mind, I have serious issues and I really have no idea what to do. I just feel so lost. But let me clarify that if Case 3 brings it up I will admit I like him and when Prom comes around if no one I want to go with asks me I will ask Case 1.
But really, I am a chicken. So help a chicken out... please? Pretty please.
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