Warning: Extreme profanity

I hate some of my friends. Why is it that Brittany ticks me off, so fucking much? I swear. And yes, I am in a sort of a bad mood, and it was a pretty good day. I just don't know, I am just angry.

But yeah, see, Brittany. She had said that Kasey had a facebook, and I was like, I did not know that. And she just brushes me off, or just gives me that, "whatever, i guess i will tell you," look. And it fucking ticks me off. Not once, NOT ONCE, has she ever invited me to anythign she has done. And there so many fucking times I am the last one to know anything, and then when I ask, everyone is just like, "don't you know? Oh, i thought you knew?" or "It is nothing. It isn't important." WELL IF IT WASNT FUCKING IMPORTANT WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IT!

And you know what, i had a GREAT time with Alicia on saturday. It was awesome. I feel bad for getting her to go to star trek, so I have to make sure she picks the next movie, whatever it is, I will see it. And... who do we see at the theater as we are waiting, but myf riends. What friends they are, thank you so much for inviting me! Or hell, even considering inviting me.

And it is not only that, because i would ahve went with alicia anyway, but... they act like I don't care, or wouldn't do anything with them. Hell, why don't you try inviting me? I had called you guys before... askign if you wanted to do something, but do I not get that same curtesy.

OH! YES! WHAT I WAS REALLY GOING TO SAY! They always act like their problems are SO much better than mine. Seriously... i can be telling them something, a story, something funny that happened, or just an issue I have. And you know what i get, i will get blank stares and nods, to pretend liek they are listening, or they start paying attention to someone else. Or guess what, they interrupt and strike up a conversation with someone else. and it fucking pisses me off.

The worst part is that i ahve little choice int he matter. Because they are the ONLY girls in my entire grade, and it is just more convenient (i cannot spell that word for the life of me) even if it is shit.

The ironic thing was that on Facebook, brittany told one of her friends that she shouldn't change for her friends, because then they truly aren't her friends. I am just like, wtf. Yeah, accept someone for who they are. You such a fucking hypocrite. I mean, seriously.

God, I shoudl not be this pissed. I have had a pretty good past several weeks, especially the last month or so. And school is goign to be over in 1 and a half days, but I am so fucking ticked. I want to hang out with them, but i just don't know if it is worth it. I mean, seriously! You guys are supposed to be my friends.

It is like they sometimes have a total lack of respect for me. And it pisses me off, so much. It seems like every little fuckign thing I do annoys them. It seems like my problems, thoughts, ideas, news, or whatever is fucking worthless.

And Brittany! My god, she ticks me off the msot otu of all of them. She is just so fucking apathetic, and doesn't seem to give a flying fuck about half of the stay I say or try and do. But expects the exact opposite of me. And it ticks me off and it hurts, ya know. Because she just doesn't seem to care. I will tell her soemthing and she is just like, "Whatever. I am not doing it, whatever. I don't care." And it is just, GOD! Why do they have to suck so much.

Maybe this mood has somethign to do with the fact aht I had tried to cal alicia when I got off work, but she didn't answer. I desperately want a good friend, in real life, just once. I want someone that I can count on and trust. I know she has other friends, and it prolly doesn't mean anythign. We are working together tomorrow anyway. I just, I just am get slightly paranoid. I am afraid that I am being an overbearing, possibly self-centered friend. I feel like I annoy her, even though I keep telling myself taht I don't. Because... god... i just don't know.

Well, I feel better now. To bad i have another fucking day and a half of school. Great, flying fuck. Just what I need, to be surrounded by people that wont give a damn about me.



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