Writing

Wow... well, I have not written on here in FOREVER! And this is not really even much of an update either. It is more of an... oh I don't know. Just a plain ramble, much like what I normally do. But anywho... I have started writing again. GO ME! Hehe... but see I've hit a wall.

I have titles for my other 4 stories in this series I am making. I have brief plot descriptions for the other 4 as well, so I know what the hell I'm going to be doing and everything like that. Hell, I've had character names for all 5 of the stories since DECEMBER!!! yeah, that is right. But now for the life of me I cannot write.

I am stuck, just about halfway through my first story. I have the first half of it done, completed... great. I've accomplished something. Except that something has been like a month and a half ago. Which that is just so terribly sad I cannot even describe it. I mean I've wanted to write and everything I just... cant. And I don't know why.

See I think I know what I want to do with the plot on this story, but I am not too sure. See, the second half starts off where our main character returns to her hometown... well techinically her home city... but still you get the picture. And... and I just don't know what I want to do. I mean, I know her dad has died, and her mother is really sick. And I know how I want it to end... I just... I am having troubles getting there.

Oh I don't know. I do know that I am just going crazy, and have been so tired and somewhat lethargic. Like yesterday I took a nap at like 6:30 cause I never got see Family Guy, and that is just terribly sad. I was not even THAT tired or anything. And, I am just going nuts, cause I want to write, but I don't know what to do, so I don't write. And then I get frustrated and it is just like my brain if being overworked cause it has all of these ideas, but I have no way to get them out because my mind won't process that last bit. Or it does and it just gets lost in translation.

Like the other day, a little thought came to me, and I just knew I had to jot it down. It goes like this:

Happiness stems from many different things. But true happiness is a once in a lifetime, free-falling 20,000 feet from the sky, plummeting like there is no tomorrow feeling. True happiness comes from the heart. You just have to open up and find it.

I mean I love it. You can hate it, I really don't care. But I loved it, and it just hit me... and I knew I had to write it down and it made me feel better when I did. I LOVE writing. I enjoy it, it is an out for me. It calms me and makes me happy even if I am writing something terribly sad. It is like, I don't know. This weird disease that I have. Because when I wrote those 3 sentences, I felt better. It is sort of like I have all of this stuff inside of me and I writing gets it out or calms me down, or something. I don't know. I know what I mean, but for the life of me I cannot find the words to explain it. So hopefully somebody out there DOES get it. Writing is my drug... well bad choice of words, but oh well. ^_^

Oh, well needless to say, to prevent myself from just going off repeating the same things over and over again, I believe I shall go and try to just dive face first into nothing and keep pushing this story until I can start free-flowing it again. Toodles. ^_^



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