DeVisualise Add Fave Search
Not Logged In
0
Your Username:
Your Password:

[ sign up | recover ]

bear with me
by Aubrey.

previous entry: now my boss knows

next entry: montreal, my annie

long distance is not an easy choice

03/04/2014

fucking fuck this is SO HARD.

there's like 10 days left until we see each other and it's SO HARD waiting.

i think we're both on edge because of all the stuff that needs to be done before (I guess her family in Spain just contacted her and is trying to get her to do all this stuff with regards to her mom's death certificate and stuff and they waited until NOW, bah, I don't know).

but we keep snipping at each other, and idk if we're picking dumb fights or just reacting more strongly, and i'm not sure if it's because we are more comfortable with each other and being more honest and thus that leads to fights, but since the fights are all over little things, i think it's due to stress and tension.

it is SO fucking hard oh my god. every day comes up with something for me to worry about --- what if she doesn't like the way my hair looks (she said she doesn't fucking care about my hair). what if i kiss wrong? what if i get cranky from pms?

all of them are kind of legit worries but at the same time, it doesn't really matter. she said to just come as ME which is what i plan to do. i can't lie to her anyway, she knows me better than anybody.

i just need to be there and feel her and stuff and know it's gonna be okay.

and i'm glad my mom knows, so that when she picks me up from the bus stop to take me home after and i end up crying in the car, maybe she'll understand why.

previous entry: now my boss knows

next entry: montreal, my annie

0 likes, 8 comments

[ | add comment ]

Add Comment

Add Comment

Please enter the following WHITE digits in the box below.
Confirmation Code

It can be a combination of both stress and tension and being comfortable enough around each other to be yourselves. Relationships are hard and a lot of work. But they're worth it if its with the right person. I don't worry about if I'm cranky from PMS, my husband expects it now and knows to kind of back off.

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Yeah, honestly I'd rather that she and I are okay enough with each other to get annoyed and be honest about that. It's safer to know that she trusts me to tell me when she's angry or upset.

And yeah on the PMS lol.

[Aubrey.|0 likes] [|reply]

Exactly! That used to be a source of major contention between me and my husband. I wasn't very good at communicating my feelings because I was always scared he'd run off. He'd get mad that I wasn't talking to him and it landed us in marriage counseling (even though we weren't yet married). I have always had a problem with being overly worried about what others think of me and I'm trying to break that.

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

It takes a long-ass time to get rid of that "what people think of me" worry. I mean, I've been working on that for a long time and it's so hard to shake, you know? I wish you lots of luck with it.

[Aubrey.|0 likes] [|reply]

Don't let the small things get to you.. Just be yourself, and enjoy the time with her

[MoonLight1983|0 likes] [|reply]

Thank you

[Aubrey.|0 likes] [|reply]

RYN: they announced only the lockdown. After it was over they gave very general info. I got the info from our SRO officer

[Greta GarbageStar|0 likes] [|reply]

I am sure she will love you exactly the way you are. It's normal to have little arguments due to stress and tension so I am sure you will be fine! I can't wait to hear how it goes and I know you are in Canada at this very moment!! So I hope you are having an amazing time!!

[once.upon.a.time.Star|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: now my boss knows

next entry: montreal, my annie

Online Friends
Offline Friends