fucking fuck this is SO HARD.
there's like 10 days left until we see each other and it's SO HARD waiting.
i think we're both on edge because of all the stuff that needs to be done before (I guess her family in Spain just contacted her and is trying to get her to do all this stuff with regards to her mom's death certificate and stuff and they waited until NOW, bah, I don't know).
but we keep snipping at each other, and idk if we're picking dumb fights or just reacting more strongly, and i'm not sure if it's because we are more comfortable with each other and being more honest and thus that leads to fights, but since the fights are all over little things, i think it's due to stress and tension.
it is SO fucking hard oh my god. every day comes up with something for me to worry about --- what if she doesn't like the way my hair looks (she said she doesn't fucking care about my hair). what if i kiss wrong? what if i get cranky from pms?
all of them are kind of legit worries but at the same time, it doesn't really matter. she said to just come as ME which is what i plan to do. i can't lie to her anyway, she knows me better than anybody.
i just need to be there and feel her and stuff and know it's gonna be okay.
and i'm glad my mom knows, so that when she picks me up from the bus stop to take me home after and i end up crying in the car, maybe she'll understand why. |
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So I hope you are having an amazing time!!
