well i don't think i'm in any sort of closet anymore, good lord.
two of my work friends know about me and Ana, in the vaguest sense ("oh, who is this guy you're seeing?" - "it's not a guy" - "oh. well still, tell me!" - "it's long distance, she's the one i'm seeing in march." - "awwww" -- that's basically the paraphrase of both convos).
and now my liquor store boss, who I consider like a second mom, knows. i was wary of telling her bc she's been weird about stuff before. like, the fact that her (white) daughter married a Kenyan (black) guy and now they have a baby ("i wonder how white the baby will be, because her husband is REALLY dark") and then commenting about another former coworker "I don't understand how you can be married to a man and then switch to women."
Anyway she was asking me about my trip and she was like "where did you meet this girl?" and stuff, and then finally she goes "Is this the one you're dating?"
and i got really quiet and "yeah"
She seemed okay with it? And she might be under the assumption that I'm 100% gay and to be honest I don't *care*. I don't have the energy to explain bisexuality to anybody and the truth is, I don't really want to date men most of the time. I have a difficult time with men; they intimidate me. IDK and I don't have that same thing with women? Or most women, anyway. And Sheryl said something like that, how it seems like I am more comfortable like this, and she feels like I've really opened up and become more of myself???? Which maybe I have. I'm not all the way there, but I definitely feel like I'm getting closer to who Aubrey is supposed to be.
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in other news, my roommate (woman in her 80s) is in the hospital, after last night she may have had a mini-stroke. She apparently is better this morning and may be home later, but i'm tense about it, especially since I was supposed to bring my little sister over today to hang out and come to pasta at my roommate's daughter's place next door (we do it every week). idk. |